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    The 10 Rules About How To Eat Cookies

    Sandeep Baweja is the president a consulting firm that provides business owners with guidance about development and growth. In his spare time, Sandeep enjoys spending time with his family and writing satirical blogs on the adventures they share.

    My name is Ariyanna and I am 2 years old. I prepared the following “guidelines” about how to eat cookies based on my first 18 months of cookie-eating experiences. Sorry it took my dad this long to write this up, but he’s a busy guy. If you follow these suggestions and rules, you will live a happier life, no matter how old you are. Who doesn’t love cookies, right?

    Two Fisted

    Eat at least two cookies at the same time, one in each hand. Never less. Don’t deprive yourself.

    Make Your Demands Clear

    As you are devouring both cookies with crumbs avalanching down your face, demand “MORE!” even if your mouth is already full and you haven’t finished the ones in your hands yet. Cookies are your God-given right.

    Consider Your Form

    Gimme, Gimme, Gimme… All Kinds, All Types

    The best kinds of cookies are ALL kinds of cookies. Giv’em all to me. Chocolate chip, Parle-G (world famous Indian cookies), shortbread, sugar cookies, white chocolate, chocolate covered, chocolate dipped, whatever you got. Bring ‘em on baby! I need them and they need me.

    Set High Goals

    Any Time, All the Time

    When should cookies be eaten? Breakfast; lunch; afternoon snack; before, with, and after dinner; before bedtime – hell yeah. Cookies will not spoil your appetite, they’ll enhance it. In fact, they go great just before or even after a sippy cup of milk. Milk and cookies always go together. Cookies and me always go together.

    Goodwill Grunting

    If you want more cookies, just grunt and keep grunting until you get some more. If your grunts are ignored, grunt increasingly louder each time. If you’re still ignored, start flailing your hands in the air and throw in a scream or two. Trust me, this will work.

    Sharing Is Caring

    Crumbs Ain’t Your Problem

    Never apologize for making a mess, whether all over the floor, all over the sofa, or all over your face. Those crumbs are not your problem. So don’t apologize for making crumbs. Someone else needs to clean them up. Your job is to eat them, that’s all.

    Embrace Your Dramatic Side

    If that doesn’t work, it’s time to break out the big guns – turn on your tear-switch and let those crystal droplets roll down your face. Keep dripping those little sympathy–inducing pearls until you hear those magic words: Okay, okay, okay, here you go.

    This blog was originally posted on Sandeep's website here.