1. When he gave this excellent explanation on his daughter's nursery decor:
The mobile above my daughter's crib is just a whole bunch of NuvaRings. So she remembers how lucky she is.
2. When he accurately summed up what the 2016 debates REALLY felt like:
I sometimes confuse watching political coverage with swan-diving into a swimming pool filled with liquid rabies.
3. When he came to this sad realization:
I'm making an oil painting of my sister, Sarah. And it's more difficult than I thought because I don't have a sister.
4. When he gave this heartfelt birthday message:
Just want to wish Billy Ray Cyrus the most special, magical birthday ever. I love you with all my heart. Also, Happy Birthday to my wife.
5. When he got himself into this awkward situation:
Tinder isn't a babysitting app. Apologies to Crystal and Janine for the misunderstanding.
6. When he made us realize that he should just start writing a parenting book now:
Healthy Parenting Tip No. 34: Get the child into showbiz as soon as possible.
7. When he was brutally honest:
Being a father is the single greatest feeling on earth. Not including those wonderful years I spent without a child, of course.
8. When he scarred his daughter for eternity:
My infant daughter's traumatized for life. 50 Shades of Grey = Worst fucking coloring book ever.
9. When he shared this raw and sweet moment with us:
Actual footage from the first date with my wife. Tried to surprise her and totally forgot I was a fucking shark.
10. When he said what we're all thinking:
When somebody starts a sentence, "with all due respect..." it's almost guaranteed they're about to say something shitty.
11. When he gave fellow parents important advice:
Tip: It's important parents take little "time outs" for themselves too. Even if you feel pretty guilty when you return 14 years later.
12. When he inspired us all with this new fashion trend:
Thank you @MTV for an unforgettable night. Don't care what the doctors say... These two incredibly heavy trophies make gorgeous earrings.
13. When he shared in our exact sentiments of what to do if you're ever trapped in an elevator with Zayn Malik:
.@CHRISEYANS #AskRyan
14. When he proved that the show must go on no matter how hard it might be:
Zayn isn't on the Graham Norton show with me anymore. I'll still go... But obviously I got my lips done for nothing. #DeadpoolDoesLondon
15. When he revealed the way to your crush's heart:
V-Day is soon! Nothing says romance like an anonymous note with the words, "You're Next" written all creepy and child-like. #helpful
16. When he made us all wish that he really was on The Bachelor:
If I were on The Bachelor, I'd step out of that limo wearing nothing but white socks and like, 312 candy necklaces. #DeadpoolOnTheBachelorð¹
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