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    The Wright Brothers Respond To Their Haters

    If they'd listened, they'd never have invented the airplane.

    On Airplanes

    Wright Bros. / Via

    Orville: They call us crazy! They say, "If man were meant to fly, God would have given us wings!"

    Wilbur: Nay! We will use science and human ingenuity to give man the power of flight!

    On SCUBA Equipment

    NA / Via

    Orville: They say, "If man were meant to breathe underwater, God would have given us gills!"

    Wilbur: Nay! For we should strive to be more like birds! And birds can't breathe underwater!

    Orville: Right–wait, what?

    On Mechanical Tails

    Orville: If God wanted us to have a tail, He would have given us tails!

    Wilbur: But think of the accomplishments mankind could achieve if we had tails!

    Orville: Like what?

    Wilbur: Um…

    Orville: Did you already sew a tail onto your clothes?

    Wilbur: I didn't not do that.

    On Bicycles

    Topical Press Agency / Getty Images

    Orville: God has nothing against bicycles. Bicycles already exist. We don't have to invent them.

    Wilbur: I also surgically implanted a bunch of feathers onto my body.

    On Airplanes, Again

    NA / Via

    Orville: What's that glued to your face?

    Wilbur: It's a beak. You know, for flying.

    Orville: But beaks aren't part of–

    Wilbur: I like the beak.

    On The Raw Food Diet

    Mikhail Kokhanchikov / Getty Images

    Orville: I'm having a hard time defending you anymore, Wilbur.

    Wilbur: Check it out, I'm eating worms now.

    Orville: I know it, buddy.

    On Low-Cost Housing

    Mactrunk / Getty Images

    Orville: Brother, if God meant for us to be birds, we would have been born birds!

    Wilbur: I turned sticks and garbage into a nest.

    Orville: [sigh] I don't think you're going to get healthy again, are you, Wilbur?

    Wilbur: Please, call me Wilbird.

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