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Which Exotic Pet Is Right For You?

Meet your new brightly colored besties.

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1. Parrots

Arisara_tongdonnoi / Getty Images

Pro: Their vocal impersonations are impressive.

Con: A pet parrot will learn your voice then get on the phone with your bank and steal your money and identity. It's happened before.

2. Flat-Headed Rock Agamas

Christian Mehlführer / Via en.wikipedia.org

Pro: Looks like Spider-Man.

Con: If it can look like Spider-Man, what's stopping it from looking like you then taking over your life–raising your kids, sleeping with your spouse, and making end-of-life decisions for your parents?

3. Chameleons

NA / Via pixabay.com

Pro: Blends in with its surroundings.

Con: How do you know that your loved ones aren't chameleons already? When was the last time you talked to a real human? There's no way to know.

5. Tiger Cubs

Malcolm / Via commons.wikimedia.org

Pro:

Tiger 1: "The humans will never accept us as equals."

Tiger 2: "We must wear human skin and destroy their society from within."

Con: If you were a tiger-person would you even know it?

7. Ferrets

Creatas / Getty Images

Pro: They're quick, crafty, and impossible to catch.

Con: America's kindergarteners are currently 90% ferrets pretending to be human children. Same goes for the U.S. government.

  1. POLL: Has your pet taken over your body and started living as you?

    Haha, no of course not, I am a disgusting human just like you.
    Haha, no of course not, I am a disgusting human just like you.
    Wha-??? No, I am much a human and always have are.
    Wha-??? No, I am much a human and always have are.

Which Exotic Pet Is Right For You?

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POLL: Has your pet taken over your body and started living as you?
  1. Haha, no of course not, I am a disgusting human just like you.
     
    vote votes
    Haha, no of course not, I am a disgusting human just like you.
  2. Wha-??? No, I am much a human and always have are.
     
    vote votes
    Wha-??? No, I am much a human and always have are.

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