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The Ultimate List Of Lists: 2013

If there’s one thing this year has taught us, it’s that 2013 definitely happened. And with all the certifiably Crazy and Unpredictable things that have happened, one things for sure: It’s certainly been A Year. And with vaguely forgettable years, come instantly forgettable lists:

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2. Browned Off

Time Magazine shocked the world by awarded Man of the Year title this year to Mrs Brown. Previously presented to comedy heavyweights Vladimir Putin, Richard Nixon and George W Bush, delighted Mrs Brown, said she was delighted to be among such prestigious former winners and celebrated by hitting an old man with a frying pan to a background of rudimentary sound effects and then another man fell over.

3. Robin Thicke Takes Over The World

The UK Top 40 came second in the longest time spent on the UK Top 40, which featured every week apart from one when Robin Thicke claimed every chart position for one week, stating: “I don’t want people to misinterpret this action, I just wanted to spread my message”. Then he took his sunglasses off, and the world collapsed for a bit under his basilisk, cycloptic glare.

5. Listz List

Franz Liszt was named best alternative spelling of the word ‘list’ for his work in sounding like the word ‘list’ but also not. Lissed France was second and Boris Johnson fifth.

5. Buzzfeed Did A List

This list was 74th in Buzzfeed’s ‘63 Lists You Didn’t Realise You’d Listed’, with the caption: ‘When you just can’t be bothered to write a proper caption!’ and you laughed when you saw it because you could somehow relate to it and share it on someone else’s Facebook wall.

5. NME Caused Controversy By Not

NME’s list was most predictable yet irrelevant in a consistent contradiction which was both out of touch and ahead of the game, leaving critics baffled and bored which was great but also rubbish in an amazingly average way.

3. Simply The Best

5. The Best List of 2012 was crowned Best List at the Best Awards, in a struggle between Best List of 2009 and Best List of Best Lists 2002. Bestival won Best Festival. George Best didn’t.

6. Year of List of Years

5. Year Most Likely To Happen Next: 2014

Year Least Remembered: 1067

Year Split Into Two Words Using Syllables: Your Ear

Year Spelt Incorrectly: Yair

Year Spelt Even More Incorrectly: Yaier

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