It's Time We Recognize "The Emperor's New Groove" As The Best Disney Movie Ever
"Why do we even HAVE that lever?"
Remember The Emperor's New Groove? You should, because it is the BEST Disney movie of all time.
It's mainly about this guy, the Emperor Kuzco. He's really into his "groove" and he's kind of a dick, TBH.
Although I guess he is kind of relatable? Because really, who wants to make deals with peasants?
But then he gets turned into a llama, and that's pretty damn awesome. NO OTHER DISNEY MOVIES HAVE LLAMAS.
He teams up with this guy, Pacha, to turn him back into a human. He's like, the nicest guy EVER.
But the whole time, the audience is left in suspense: CAN NICE GUYS FINISH FIRST?
Unfortunately for them but FORTUNATELY for us, they hit some pretty serious roadblocks along the way.
*literally on the edge of my seat*
Seriously, the drama is very, VERY real. This isn't Cinderella, that's for damn sure.
We also get to meet perhaps the greatest villains in Disney history, Yzma and Kronk.
Jafar ain't got nothing on these two.
Yzma is downright terrifying.
Like truly, she is the scariest Disney villain ever.
And she is a bit of a meanie. But that's what makes her cool.
Although, she is not *totally* heartless.
And she hatches the most DEVIOUS plans. Seriously, shit gets REAL.
Kronk, on the other hand, isn't exactly the sharpest tool in the shed.
And Yzma isn't afraid to remind him of that.
But Kronk has a good heart. He's probably the best Disney henchman ever.
I mean, REALLY.
Just look at how he acts under pressure!
Could any of the hyenas from The Lion King do that? I THINK NOT.
But sometimes... SOMETIMES... Yzma and Kronk work well together. And watching their evil hijinks unfold is truly a life-altering experience.
Well, sort of.
Actually, not really. At all.
Regardless, we love them.
Anyway, like I said, this movie is filled with incredibly dramatic moments.
*reaches for tissues*
Moments of triumph...
... Moments of teamwork...
... And moments of despair.
And also this joke, for all of you cinephiles out there.
Plus it has a happy ending for everyone... except for Yzma, who is turned into an itty bitty kitty.
How it didn't win an Oscar is beyond me.