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19 Tweets That Are A Litttttle Too Real

Why are these so true?

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1. On finding a parking space:

I fucking Hate being cat fished by a parking space. Get so excited, go to pull in.. and there's a fiat 500 in there

2. On being proactive:

Working on my five year plan: 1. ? 2. ? 3. ? 4. ? 5. And then they'll all be sorry.

3. On drinking seltzer:

La Croix taste like if you were drinking carbonated water and someone screamed out loud the name of a specific fruit in the other room

4. On medieval times, Part 1:

plague doctors had no business looking that badass, walking around like a BDSM bird priest for no reason at all


5. On medieval times, Part 2:

can you imagine how hot we all would have seemed like 600 years ago

6. On our favorite movies:

me explaining to literally anyone that Miranda Priestly was NOT the villain in The Devil Wears Prada and it was act…

7. On New Years Resolutions, Part 1:

my new years resolution is to put my clothes back on the hangers and in my closet after trying them on. i know that…

8. On New Years Resolutions, Part 2:

I fucked up already, 2019 my year fasho


9. On optical illusions:

i thought this lady was fuckin staring at me for 5 minutes till i realized it was a magazine

10. On caffeinated beverages:

Coffee Gives Me Diarrhea But I Drink It Anyway

11. On youth culture:

y’all be born in Q4 of 1999 talking about the finesse remix making y’all miss the 90’s

12. On staying in:

me going out literally the next weekend after saying i’m not going out for a while


13. On taking pictures:

what I mean when I say “can u take a photo of me?”

14. On social media:

I’ve been spending more time on Instagram than Twitter lately because I like the “feel bad about myself” machine mo…

15. On millennials:

16. On our favorite TV shows:

me: Black Mirror: it's cause you be on that phone


17. On budgeting properly:

Me forcing myself to save money and cook instead of eating out

18. On social progress:

1998: the teens are calling everything gay 2008: the teens aren't sure they should be really calling things gay 201…

19. And finally, on growing up:

two biggest shocks of adult life: 1. everyone does cocaine 2. cheese is fucking expensive