1. When your friend asks if they can have a nacho, but they go for THAT nacho:
2. I can't explain this one, it's just true:
they chop it for you
3. And this one too, basically for the same reason:
Me going to Starbucks just to get a coffee when I have a perfectly fine working coffee machine at home
4. When you're up way, way past your bedtime for no reason at all:
Me, 4 hours after I should have gone to sleep:
5. And when this form of procrastination is way too real for creatives:
hell yeah im WRITING W R I am not writing T I N G
6. When you look at the news and it just makes you shake your head:
Anyone who believes in massive global conspiracies has clearly never tried to plan a dinner with more than like three people
7. When your phone buzzes and you get excited even though you just played yourself:
me: [selects "send verification code as text" on a website] me three seconds later: oh boy a tex mesage
8. When you realize this is basically all you want in life:
I don’t want a sugar daddy but maybe like a sugar buddy. I just hit him up like “Hey how are you today?” and he replies “Doing great thanks for asking here’s $7,000. “
9. When you realize the plot of Monsters, Inc. is way more revolutionary than you first thought:
Mike and Sully were two blue-collar workers who managed to pay for their spacious 1 bedroom in central Monstropolis while sheltering a young political refugee, and developing a new form of clean, renewable energy. What have YOU done today?
10. As are the lyrics to one of Britney's biggest hits:
when britney said 'u want a hot body? u want a maserati? u better work bitch' it was satire on how capitalist society forces us to lust after superficial objects while exploiting our labour for little pay so we buy superficial objects tht fuel the same economy that opresses us
11. And you also realize that the 2000s were a total free-for-all when it came to pop culture:
Remember how Panic At The Disco wasn’t allowed to say the phrase “God Damn Door” without getting bleeped but no radio station seemed to have a problem when Lady Gaga had an entire song about how she wanted to take a ride on some dude’s dick. The 2000’s were wild
12. When you're walking in the mall and THAT smell hits your nostrils and you try to resist with all your might:
13. If you ever were a swimmer, this probably hits a little too close to home:
remember when u were on swim team and somebody writing “eat my bubbles” on ur back before the meet was like the hardest shit ever
14. When you open your camera and it's the front-facing camera and you nearly scare yourself to death, so you decide to put an end to the madness:
i don’t even open my front facing camera anymore what i look like is none of my business
15. If you're one of THESE people, this one will ring true:
I’m just a girl, looking at the table next to my bed, wondering how many more cups I can fit on it before I have to take some back to the kitchen
16. When you have this big character flaw:
17. When some people can pull off that effortless look, and you're just like, "HOW?!":
i hate french girl aesthetics. every photo is some skinny girl with perfect skin and messy hair pretending shes having the time of her life in a coffee shop. wah look at me, life is so breezy and fun. shut the fuck up. ive been in a coffee shop it's ok at most
18. When you're excited about going to a concert but you forget the part about GOING to the concert:
buying tickets to shows and then figuring out how to get there is big dumb bitch energy
19. This tweet is from two weeks ago, but it still is a little TOO real:
how is august next week?! september is basically tomorrow. it’s already 2019. happy new year.
20. Whenever you order something online and this happens:
USPS tracking: 1. We’re not sure it exists yet 2. It’s arrived
21. Also, this is another unspoken rule of ordering something online:
I’m SCREAMING.
22. When you realize water is basically magical:
water is rly that bitch. zero calories, hydrating, home for fish, beautiful in nature, etc. like she did NOT have to go that hard. but she did. and i am grateful
23. When you were a little kid (and TBH you might still do this as an adult) and you thought monsters under the bed followed these rules:
Me: *covers foot with blanket* Monster 1: *about to grab my foot anyway* Monster 2: *quickly pulling him back* NO. we have to respect the blanket Franklin
24. Whenever you talk to that ONE friend who studied abroad junior year of college:
Me at Starbucks: I’ll have a lemona- NYU student who studied abroad in Florence: this American lemonade is NOTHING like the LIMONCELLO shots we did in NAPLES! We ate **makes Italian fist** FRESH pasta out of the Trevi fountain AND snorted TIRAMISU off the Popes asscrack!
25. When this happens when you're driving and the road rage hits:
When somebody brakes at the yellow light but then goes thru anyway and you get stuck at the red light
26. And finally, when this is the only reason you're late for something:
hey sorry im late I sat on my bed in a towel for an hour and a half and was on my phone doing nothing productive