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27 Moments From "The Simple Life" That Belong In A Damn History Textbook

Pull up a chair, because they didn't teach this in high school!

1. Literally every time they unleashed the most important phrase in the English language, "that's hot", but ESPECIALLY this time:

2. When Nicole asked for a quarter and probably saved the American economy in the process:

3. When Paris changed the culinary industry forever by trying to grill bacon with an iron:

4. And when she wasn't even ashamed about her innovative, game-changing cooking technique, because why the hell should she:

5. When Paris gave life advice so profound that it belongs in a TED Talk:

6. When this mind-boggling slip that nearly reawakened Sigmund Freud from the dead occurred:

7. When Nicole held down a phone call while also changing male grooming patterns for the better:

8. When Paris and Nicole changed fashion (more specifically, farm-friendly fashion) for the better:

9. When the girls were proponents of a very bohemian sexual lifestyle:

10. When Paris gave directions that would have made Christopher Columbus proud:

11. When it was 2005, and hey, things happen:

12. When Nicole wholeheartedly supported capitalism and returned her meal because she couldn't afford it:

13. When Paris stood up for the proletariat and had this very important question about her work uniform:

14. When Paris tried to make one small turn for man, but Nicole muttered one giant "Yeah" for mankind:

15. When Nicole did a Betty Friedan and turned our patriarchal society on its head:

16. When Paris nearly one-upped Shakespeare by mispronouncing "internship":

17. When Paris and Nicole made you realize the Olympics needed to add an additional sport:

18. When Paris and Nicole revolutionized air travel with their top-notch customer service experience:

19. When Nicole said this, one of the great goodbyes in human history:

20. When Nicole paid tribute to one of Hollywood's greatest legends:

21. When Nicole said what should be EVERYONE'S New Year's Resolution:

22. When Nicole gave Abraham Lincoln a run for his money when it comes to profundity and offered this incredibly profound advice:

23. When Paris proved that titles are just a construct of a capitalist society:

24. When Paris tested the limits of the human psyche when Nicole told her they were fired:

25. When Paris tested the limits of male-female dating patterns:

26. When Nicole joined Aristotle and Plato as one of philosophy's great minds when she answered Paris's question with another question:

27. And finally, when Paris and Nicole not only changed this sign for the better, but also altered the course of human history in the process: