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Jun 4, 2014

10 Incredibly Sexy Rounds Of Celebrity "F#@k, Chuck, And Marry"

Get ready, because this is HARD.

Gregg DeGuire / WireImage / Bryan Bedder / Christopher Polk / Valerie Macon / Getty Images / Justine Zwiebel for BuzzFeed

YOU KNOW THE GAME, YOU KNOW THE RULES: FUCK ONE CELEB, CHUCK ONE CELEB, MARRY A THIRD CELEB*. WILL YOU BE ABLE TO PICK THE WINNING COMBO?

*not actually. Justin in your head. But a gurl can dream, right?

First, the Hollywood Heartthrobs: Ryan Gosling, Channing Tatum, and Zac Efron.

Warner Bros.
Warner Bros.
MTV

GOD IS GOOD.

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    Fuck Zefron. HE ISN'T A DISNEY CHANNEL STAR ANYMORE, THAT'S FOR SURE.

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    Chuck Channing, even if it is the HARDEST thing you will ever do.

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    Marry Gosling. I mean, have you SEEN "The Notebook"?

Alright, time for some Pop Divas. Your choices are Katy Perry, Rihanna, and Beyoncé.

Beyonce Vevo

BOW DOWN TO THE QUEENS OF POP.

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    Is this even a question? Screw love, you want to get dirty in a hopeless place with Rihanna.

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    Well, to be fair, you don't chuck Queen B. She chucks you. And really, would you ever want to deal with Solange?

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    Live the Teenage Dream and make Katy your California Gurl FO LYFE.

How about some of the boys from One Direction? Sorry Louis and Liam, but we've got to go with Zayn, Niall, and Harry.

Which DIRECTION will you take with these lads?

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    I mean, DUH, Zayn's D is the 1 D you would ever want.

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    Chuck Harry. If he wasn't good enough for TSwift, HE AIN'T GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU.

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    You marry Niall, the Irish prince of One Direction, because he will be your lucky charm forever!

Now for some Leading Ladies. The choices? Emma Watson, Jennifer Lawrence, and Emma Stone.

CBS
Warner Bros.

HERMIONE, KATNISS, OR GWEN STACY??? IT'S ALMOST TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE.

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    You gotta get nasty with JLaw. Maybe, just maybe, she'll even show you her Oscar.

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    It's not easy, but someone has to go. She hasn't cast a spell over your heart or shot an arrow through it like Katniss (JK, Cupid) so it has to be the Stoner.

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    Easy: Put a rock on Watson. If she doesn't make your heart go Petrificus Totalus, then no one will.

Next Round! How about some British Gentlemen? Idris Elba, Daniel Craig, and Benedict Cumberbatch are your options.

BBC
MGM
Paramount Pictures

I'D LIKE A CUP OF THEIR TEA.

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    You HAVE to sleep with Agent 007 himself. Shaken, not stirred, am I right?!?!

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    It's not that he's sherlock-ing in hotness, but the competition here is stiff.

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    I mean, you get to hear his sexy voice for the rest of your life. LOCK THAT SHIT DOWN.

Time for some Kardashians! Who will you keep up with when it comes to Kourtney, Kim, and Khloe?!?!

E!
E!
E!

KAN YOU EVEN HANDLE THIS?

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    I mean, c'mon guys. She has a sex-tape. It's a no-brainer.

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    Sorry Kourt, but you gotta go.

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    You gotta wife up Kween Khloe, because she's sassy and she keeps it real.

Time for some silver foxes! How about Anderson Cooper, George Clooney,

Sony Pictures Classics
Comedy Central

THE SILVIER, THE FOXIER.

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    You go with the Coop, and if you're lucky, you'll do it on his news desk.

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    Sorry, Cloonster, but you've got too many commitment issues. NEXT!!!

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    Pick the "Daily Show" funnyman, because he'll provide you with a lifetime of laughter.

And don't think we forgot the Hot Mamas. How about Kerry Washington, Penelope Cruz, and Jennifer Lopez?

ABC
ABC
Jennifer Lopez Vevo

There is some serious MILF action going on here.

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    Penelope is HOT HOT HOT, and you would be lucky to hit that. Plus, she has an Oscar.

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    Sorry J.Lo, it's going to have to be a J.No.