28 Problems Every Lifeguard Will Understand
The wetter the better.
No matter how many times you yell "NO RUNNING ON THE POOL DECK" kids will inevitably run on the pool deck.
Snack bar food. So much snack bar food, it's like they are trying to fatten you up for slaughter.
You've probably become a pro at applying sunscreen, but good lord, there is always that first burn of the summer.
Dropping your whistle in the pool. #clumsy
Trying your hardest not to beat all the kids and win Sharks & Minnows every single time.
Swimmers who stay until literally the moment the pool closes.
You're not just a lifeguard, you're a babysitter, a bathroom attendant, a custodian, and maybe even a coach.
You spend so much time outside that on your days off, all you want to do is stay on the damn couch. INSIDE.
Storms that pass over too quickly are the worst because you feel #blessed and then you realize you have to open the pool pretty much right away.
It will be freezing cold and raining, and still some kids will want to swim, so you have to sit on that stand.
Also, when you think you hear thunder but actually it's just someone moving a deck chair.
You know EVERYONE is peeing in the pool, and you're helpless to really do anything about it.
Cleaning the pool and the bathrooms is like trying to mop up after Armageddon. You never know what crazy crap you'll find.
Crowded days at the pool are DEATH.
Lifeguard swag is right, but sometimes you just want to wear a normal bathing suit for a change.
Checking the chemicals in the pool like you're on Breaking Bad.
Finding frogs and other dead animals in the pool.
Closing shifts, because the pool may close at 8 p.m., but you know you aren't getting out until 9.
There's always at least one other guard you will crush on HARD.
You will ALWAYS smell like a fine mixture of sweat, chlorine, and sunblock.
Every time a little kid jumps off the diving board, you hold your breath a little bit and say a silent prayer they don't hit their head.
Also, there is always those little swimmers in the shallow end you have to keep an extra-close eye on.
The MADNESS that is Memorial Day Weekend and the Fourth of July.
And even crazier parents.
Also, having to sit when there is only ONE person in the pool.
And finally, lifeguarding while hungover.
But at the end of the day, you get paid to tan and spend all day in your bathing suit, so what's not to love?
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