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How Moist Are You Actually?

Are you a perspiration inspiration?

Posted on
  1. Check off all that apply to you!

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    You forgot to put deodorant on today.
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    You oftentimes forget to put on deodorant.
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    If you forget to put on deodorant, it's not THAT big of a deal.
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    You know what a "sniff check" is.
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    You have perfected the art of the sniff check.
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    Even if you have put on deodorant, you still get a little sweaty by the end of the day.
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    You know what a T-zone is.
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    You frequently have a shiny T-zone.
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    You haven't washed your hair today.
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    You haven't washed your hair this week.
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    You haven't showered today.
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    You haven't showered in two days.
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    You're thinking to yourself right now, "I probably need a shower!"
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    You've showered and not used soap or shampoo.
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    You burp often.
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    You burp often, and don't excuse yourself.
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    You've farted today.
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    You've farted today, and someone has noticed.
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    You've farted today, and someone has noticed, and you didn't care.
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    You're comfortable pooping outside the confines of your home.
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    You're comfortable pooping at work and/or school.
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    You're comfortable holding a conversation with someone while going to the bathroom.
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    You've farted during sex.
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    You've farted during sex, and laughed about it.
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    You haven't shaved today.
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    You haven't shaved this week.
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    You haven't washed your bedsheets this week.
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    You haven't washed your bedsheets this month.
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    You can't remember the last time you washed your bedsheets.
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    Sometimes you don't wash your hands after going to the bathroom.
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    More often than not you don't wash your hands after going to the bathroom.
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    Or maybe you just wash them with water, no soap.
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    Other people's bodily functions don't bother you that much.
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    Like, everyone poops, right?
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    And farts, too.
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    In fact, you own up to your farts.
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    And maybe you're a little bit proud of them.
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    You know what a "Dutch oven" is.
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    You have Dutch-ovened someone.
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    You've been wearing your underwear for more than a day.
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    You've been wearing your underwear for longer than you should.
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    You haven't brushed your teeth today.
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    Actually, if you skip brushing your teeth every now and then, it isn't a big deal.
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    And flossing? Out of the question.
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    Sometimes, everyday activities cause you to perspire a bit.
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    Or even the mere act of existing causes you to work up a bit of a stink.
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    But you know what? You don't really care.
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    You burp, fart, and poop with reckless abandon.
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    That's because it makes you feel ALIVE.
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    And you don't give a crap what anyone else has to say about it.
 
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