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I Tried Kourtney Kardashian's "Detox" Lemonade For A Week And Here's What Happened

TBH, this needs vodka, which I think defeats the purpose.

Hi! My name is Sam and I'm low-key obsessed with the Kardashians. Love them or hate them, they're always up to something crazy. The devil works hard, but Kris Jenner works HARDER.

Instagram: @samstryker

Aside from Kris, I think my favorite family member is Kourtney. She's low-key the sassiest, least problematic, and also a total babe. Also she seems to have the lowest tolerance for Jonathan Cheban, which I think indicates good character.

Anyways, a few weeks ago Kourtney posted a link to her app for her "detox" lemonade (I follow all of the sisters on Instagram, except for Kendall, because she's been problematic and she's also boring on social media). I was intrigued, so I clicked the link.

Unfortunately, the link was behind a paywall. Luckily I was able to work my Kardashian Konnections and get the recipe, because I knew I needed to try the drink and see what it was all about.

Kourtney's secret ingredient is activated charcoal, which she claims people "swear by" as a way to "help eliminate toxins" including alcohol. She also claims it reduces bloating.Since neither Kourtney nor I are licensed medical professionals, I checked with our research team to make sure drinking this concoction was safe. They recommended drinking once a day, and for no more than a week.
kourtneykardashian.com

Kourtney's secret ingredient is activated charcoal, which she claims people "swear by" as a way to "help eliminate toxins" including alcohol. She also claims it reduces bloating.

Since neither Kourtney nor I are licensed medical professionals, I checked with our research team to make sure drinking this concoction was safe. They recommended drinking once a day, and for no more than a week.

So here's what happened when I tried out Kourtney Kardashian's "detox" lemonade:

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First of all, the "ingredients" for the "recipe" were comically simple. Like, I would hardly even call this a recipe, not that I'm complaining.

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It literally took me five minutes to make...

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...although juicing lemons is harder than it looks. I don't believe for a second that Kourtney juices her own lemons. It's just not realistic!

BuzzFeed Video

The final result is kind of metal! Because of the activated charcoal, the beverage is PITCH BLACK. Like if lemonade could be goth, it would be Kourtney's "detox" lemonade.

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As for the taste, it wasn't bad at all. It basically was like very strong lemon water from a restaurant (or watered down lemonade). It was pleasant, refreshing, and drinking the charcoal didn't really bother me.

The activated charcoal didn't really have much of a taste, but as Kourtney said, it does have sort of a gritty texture. Also, there was a lot of charcoal residue at the bottom of every glass I drank, so I had to sort of swirl it out to make sure I drank it all.
BuzzFeed Video

The activated charcoal didn't really have much of a taste, but as Kourtney said, it does have sort of a gritty texture. Also, there was a lot of charcoal residue at the bottom of every glass I drank, so I had to sort of swirl it out to make sure I drank it all.

Honestly, all I wanted to do was mix some vodka into the drink (which is basically counterintuitive to the entire purpose of "detoxifying"). It was light and refreshing, and felt like a perfect mixer.

Although maybe if you mix charcoal and vodka, they cancel each other out? That's how PEMDAS works, right?
BuzzFeed Video

Although maybe if you mix charcoal and vodka, they cancel each other out? That's how PEMDAS works, right?

As for the "detoxifying" properties of the lemonade that Kourtney claimed, I wasn't super impressed. I didn't really feel less bloated at all, and it sure as hell didn't help my hangover.

E!

One day I purposely got hungover to see if the lemonade would help, but it really didn't seem to abate my headache at all. KOURTNEY, WHAT GIVES.

Also, it didn't turn my poop black, and I was weirdly disappointed about this.

E!

I had heard stories about charcoal turning your poop black, and I was looking forward to goth turds. Alas, it was not meant to be.

Also, I had my coworkers try it once to see what they thought. Everyone agreed it was tasty, but also looked pretty badass.

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Honestly imagine having a pitcher of this stuff in your fridge, and a guest opening it and freaking out over what the hell it is. I would say it's worth making it for that alone.

So the moral of the story is, Kourtney's "detox" lemonade doesn't SEEM to be some magical cure-all in my experience. But it's badass to drink, and is super refreshing. Cheers to that!

E!

If you want to follow along the rest of my Kardashian and non-Kardashian related experiences, follow me on Instagram @samstryker.

Kourtney's Detox Lemonade is exclusive to her app, and you can check it out for yourself here!

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