Hi! My name is Sam and I'm low-key obsessed with the Kardashians. Love them or hate them, they're always up to something crazy. The devil works hard, but Kris Jenner works HARDER.
Aside from Kris, I think my favorite family member is Kourtney. She's low-key the sassiest, least problematic, and also a total babe. Also she seems to have the lowest tolerance for Jonathan Cheban, which I think indicates good character.
Anyways, a few weeks ago Kourtney posted a link to her app for her "detox" lemonade (I follow all of the sisters on Instagram, except for Kendall, because she's been problematic and she's also boring on social media). I was intrigued, so I clicked the link.
Unfortunately, the link was behind a paywall. Luckily I was able to work my Kardashian Konnections and get the recipe, because I knew I needed to try the drink and see what it was all about.
So here's what happened when I tried out Kourtney Kardashian's "detox" lemonade:
First of all, the "ingredients" for the "recipe" were comically simple. Like, I would hardly even call this a recipe, not that I'm complaining.
It literally took me five minutes to make...
...although juicing lemons is harder than it looks. I don't believe for a second that Kourtney juices her own lemons. It's just not realistic!
The final result is kind of metal! Because of the activated charcoal, the beverage is PITCH BLACK. Like if lemonade could be goth, it would be Kourtney's "detox" lemonade.
As for the taste, it wasn't bad at all. It basically was like very strong lemon water from a restaurant (or watered down lemonade). It was pleasant, refreshing, and drinking the charcoal didn't really bother me.
Honestly, all I wanted to do was mix some vodka into the drink (which is basically counterintuitive to the entire purpose of "detoxifying"). It was light and refreshing, and felt like a perfect mixer.
As for the "detoxifying" properties of the lemonade that Kourtney claimed, I wasn't super impressed. I didn't really feel less bloated at all, and it sure as hell didn't help my hangover.
Also, it didn't turn my poop black, and I was weirdly disappointed about this.
Also, I had my coworkers try it once to see what they thought. Everyone agreed it was tasty, but also looked pretty badass.
So the moral of the story is, Kourtney's "detox" lemonade doesn't SEEM to be some magical cure-all in my experience. But it's badass to drink, and is super refreshing. Cheers to that!
If you want to follow along the rest of my Kardashian and non-Kardashian related experiences, follow me on Instagram @samstryker.
Kourtney's Detox Lemonade is exclusive to her app, and you can check it out for yourself here!