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How 'Murican Are You Actually?

STARS AND STRIPES 4EVER.

Posted on
  1. Check off everything that applies, you PATRIOT!

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    You call soccer “soccer.”
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    Or you call soccer “football” but only during the World Cup.
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    You LOVE watching America play in the World Cup.
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    But hate how soccer is so “low scoring.”
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    You turn off the World Cup as soon as America is out.
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    You will always choose football (the REAL, American kind) over soccer.
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    You LIVE for watching America dominate the Olympics.
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    Even if you don’t know WHAT the hell is going on for most of the sports.
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    And “ESPN” is one of your favorite TV shows to watch.
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    You love beer.
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    Especially beer in cans.
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    You’ve shotgunned a beer before.
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    You’ve crushed a beer can after drinking it.
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    You’ve done a keg stand.
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    You LOVE playing drinking games.
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    You LOVE denim.
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    Like, you could wear a full “joutfit” if you wanted to (joutfit= jean outfit.)
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    And you DEFINITELY own a pair of jorts.
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    And have a pair of aviator sunglasses.
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    And Nikes.
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    Or Converse.
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    And you’ve worn a hat backwards.
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    But most of all, you LOVE wearing bro tanks.
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    You’ve grown a mustache, or wished you could grow a mustache.
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    Actually, you’re DAMN proud of whatever body hair you have.
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    You love going to theme parks.
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    Especially going on roller coasters.
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    And always have a special place in your heart for Disney World/Disneyland.
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    You love going to the beach.
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    You’ve ever said the phrase “Sun's out, guns out.”
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    You like “tossing around the ol’ pigskin.”
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    You like playing wiffle ball.
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    You like playing Frisbee.
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    You like doing any of the previous three while intoxicated.
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    Butter is one of your favorite ingredients in foods.
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    And carbs are NOT the enemy.
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    Also, you know that food just tastes better fried.
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    You wish we could deport Justin Bieber back to Canada.
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    You have a strong opinion on Miley Cyrus.
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    Also, you have a very strong opinion on the Kardashians.
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    You love trashy reality TV shows.
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    You love CBS procedurals.
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    Also, “Game of Thrones.”
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    You love “Game of Thrones” but you haven’t read the books.
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    Someone has spoiled a part of “Game of Thrones” for you.
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    You just LOVE Taylor Swift.
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    And you think Jennifer Lawrence is SO relatable.
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    You LOVE Beyonce even though you only know like, three of her songs: “Crazy in Love” and “Single Ladies” and that other one but you forget the name.
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    "Party in the USA" is your JAM.
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    You LIVE for guitar solos.
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    Also, you LOVE classic rock stations.
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    You really love the movie “Forrest Gump.”
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    Also, “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” is a CLASSIC, in your book.
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    And you CAN’T believe Leonardo DiCaprio hasn’t won an Oscar yet.
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    You love ironically photoshopped photos of eagles over the American flag.
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    You’ve voted in an election.
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    You’ve made a big deal about voting in an election.
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    You’ve complained about the price of gas.
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    You’ve gotten into an argument about President Obama.
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    You’ve gotten into a drunken argument about President Obama.
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    You’ve gotten into an argument over a social issue.
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    You’ve gotten into a drunken argument over a social issue.
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    You’ve said the phrase “Freedom isn’t free.”
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    You have a VERY strong opinion on Hilary Clinton.
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    You’ve ever watched “Fox News” (hate watching counts).
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    Either “The Daily Show” or “The Colbert Report” is your main source of news.
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    You have a preference on your favorite fast food.
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    Your favorite fast food is McDonalds.
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    You think Taco Bell is “Mexican food.”
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    You eat fast food sober regularly.
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    You’ve called French fries “freedom fries.”
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    You love putting ketchup on things.
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    And you’ve eaten an entire meal without vegetables.
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    Wait, do potatoes count as vegetables? Yeah, you count potatoes as vegetables.
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    You like shopping at Walmart.
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    And Target.
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    And Amazon (especially Amazon).
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    You also LOVE going to the mall.
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    You strongly identify with the state/region/city you live in.
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    And love to make fun of people from other areas of the country.
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    You’ve made fun of New Yorkers.
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    You’ve made fun of Californians.
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    You’ve made fun of Texans.
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    You’ve made fun of Floridians.
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    You’ve made a New Jersey joke.
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    You’ve taken a BuzzFeed quiz.
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    You’ve been SHOCKED at how well a BuzzFeed quiz accurately described you.
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    You’ve shared a BuzzFeed post on Facebook.
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    You love talking about a previous decade nostalgically.
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    Or you’ve ever referred to some other time as the “good ol’ days.”
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    You love singing the National Anthem at sporting events.
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    Also, you LOVE doing “the wave.”
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    You’ve gotten into an argument over your favorite sports team.
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    You’ve been drunk at a sporting event.
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    You love tailgating for sporting events.
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    Gym was your favorite class in elementary school.
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    Scratch that, RECESS was your favorite class in elementary school.
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    You’ve ever fulfilled the “loud, obnoxious American” stereotype.
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    That’s because you’re proud to be an American.
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    Scratch that, you’re DAMN proud to be an American.
 
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