You call soccer “soccer.”Or you call soccer “football” but only during the World Cup.You LOVE watching America play in the World Cup.But hate how soccer is so “low scoring.”You turn off the World Cup as soon as America is out.You will always choose football (the REAL, American kind) over soccer.You LIVE for watching America dominate the Olympics.Even if you don’t know WHAT the hell is going on for most of the sports.And “ESPN” is one of your favorite TV shows to watch.You love beer.Especially beer in cans.You’ve shotgunned a beer before.You’ve crushed a beer can after drinking it.You’ve done a keg stand.You LOVE playing drinking games.You LOVE denim.Like, you could wear a full “joutfit” if you wanted to (joutfit= jean outfit.)And you DEFINITELY own a pair of jorts.And have a pair of aviator sunglasses.And Nikes.Or Converse.And you’ve worn a hat backwards.But most of all, you LOVE wearing bro tanks.You’ve grown a mustache, or wished you could grow a mustache.Actually, you’re DAMN proud of whatever body hair you have.You love going to theme parks.Especially going on roller coasters.And always have a special place in your heart for Disney World/Disneyland.You love going to the beach.You’ve ever said the phrase “Sun's out, guns out.”You like “tossing around the ol’ pigskin.”You like playing wiffle ball.You like playing Frisbee.You like doing any of the previous three while intoxicated.Butter is one of your favorite ingredients in foods.And carbs are NOT the enemy.Also, you know that food just tastes better fried.You wish we could deport Justin Bieber back to Canada.You have a strong opinion on Miley Cyrus.Also, you have a very strong opinion on the Kardashians.You love trashy reality TV shows.You love CBS procedurals.Also, “Game of Thrones.”You love “Game of Thrones” but you haven’t read the books.Someone has spoiled a part of “Game of Thrones” for you.You just LOVE Taylor Swift.And you think Jennifer Lawrence is SO relatable.You LOVE Beyonce even though you only know like, three of her songs: “Crazy in Love” and “Single Ladies” and that other one but you forget the name."Party in the USA" is your JAM.You LIVE for guitar solos.Also, you LOVE classic rock stations.You really love the movie “Forrest Gump.”Also, “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” is a CLASSIC, in your book.And you CAN’T believe Leonardo DiCaprio hasn’t won an Oscar yet.You love ironically photoshopped photos of eagles over the American flag.You’ve voted in an election.You’ve made a big deal about voting in an election.You’ve complained about the price of gas.You’ve gotten into an argument about President Obama.You’ve gotten into a drunken argument about President Obama.You’ve gotten into an argument over a social issue.You’ve gotten into a drunken argument over a social issue.You’ve said the phrase “Freedom isn’t free.”You have a VERY strong opinion on Hilary Clinton.You’ve ever watched “Fox News” (hate watching counts).Either “The Daily Show” or “The Colbert Report” is your main source of news.You have a preference on your favorite fast food.Your favorite fast food is McDonalds.You think Taco Bell is “Mexican food.”You eat fast food sober regularly.You’ve called French fries “freedom fries.”You love putting ketchup on things.And you’ve eaten an entire meal without vegetables.Wait, do potatoes count as vegetables? Yeah, you count potatoes as vegetables.You like shopping at Walmart.And Target.And Amazon (especially Amazon).You also LOVE going to the mall.You strongly identify with the state/region/city you live in.And love to make fun of people from other areas of the country.You’ve made fun of New Yorkers.You’ve made fun of Californians.You’ve made fun of Texans.You’ve made fun of Floridians.You’ve made a New Jersey joke.You’ve taken a BuzzFeed quiz.You’ve been SHOCKED at how well a BuzzFeed quiz accurately described you.You’ve shared a BuzzFeed post on Facebook.You love talking about a previous decade nostalgically.Or you’ve ever referred to some other time as the “good ol’ days.”You love singing the National Anthem at sporting events.Also, you LOVE doing “the wave.”You’ve gotten into an argument over your favorite sports team.You’ve been drunk at a sporting event.You love tailgating for sporting events.Gym was your favorite class in elementary school.Scratch that, RECESS was your favorite class in elementary school.You’ve ever fulfilled the “loud, obnoxious American” stereotype.That’s because you’re proud to be an American.Scratch that, you’re DAMN proud to be an American.
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