So unless you live under a rock you know that last night the MTV VMAs went down in Los Angeles. I might not be famous BUT I did get to go to the show. Here's what happened.
1. Getting ready for an awards show is kind of like prepping for a zombie apocalypse: You really never can be too prepared.
2. You should dress for comfort, like if you wanted to stay in and watch Netflix but look good at the same time.
3. Attending an awards show is an all-day marathon, NOT a sprint.
It's human nature to complain about the length of awards shows on TV, like trying to get to a round dollar amount when you're gassing up your car. But after attending the VMAs I will never complain about long shows because experiencing the real thing is so, so much more exhausting than watching from home. It's not like you just show up to the show, watch a few famous people get trophies, and then go home. It's like an iceberg — everyone at home just sees the tip, but there is a TON of stuff below the water (getting dressed/ready, waiting at the red carpet, waiting in so many lines, etc.). Except Miley Cyrus is hosting this iceberg and Britney Spears is on it.
4. The red carpet is a HAUTE MESS in real life.
Ryan Seacrest and Giuliana Rancic make red carpets seem effortless and glamorous, like as if your Instagram feed came to life. And yes, all the stars are there and they look amazing. Chrissy Teigen! Fifth Harmony! Nick Jonas! At least 50% of the Kardashian family (they have to meet a quota)! But while red carpets may seem like a total glamfest on TV, they're actually more like if the running of the bulls happened with famous people if you're actually there. I believe the scientific term is "clusterfuck," but for about two hours, you have producers running around like crazy, publicists with celebs in tow, and everyone taking selfies. It's a mess!!!
5. Since it's such a long day, you'll find yourself whining about SOMETHING until you remember you're at the VMAs.
OK so a common misconception about awards shows is that you just show up in a nice dress or tux, walk a red carpet, and then go inside and get hammered on free champagne. They don't teach you how to attend an awards show in school, and going to one is not for the faint of heart. At various points in the evening, I was complaining about various things: having swamp-ass, needing to pee, not getting to talk to Fifth Harmony, being hangry AF, and the long line for free booze.
But then you remember there are countless people who would gladly take your seat (like the fans waiting outside the event holding signs, above right), and you're at the center of the musical universe for the evening. BAM. Then you feel better.