Skip To Content

    24 Rules People Who Hate People Always Follow

    I literally cannot with everyone.

    1. The answer to the question "What's wrong" is not "I hate you all" but "Nothing!" or "I'm fine"; practice your delivery because you will be asked this question a lot.


    Why do people keep asking this?

    2. If you want someone to stop talking to you, totally ignore them.


    *Stares in the other direction forever*

    3. If that doesn't work, deliver your strongest resting bitch face.


    Nothing says "STFU" like a good ol' death stare.

    4. If all else fails, you need to just tell them off — you don't have time for other people.


    Get creative, if need be.

    5. If social decorum calls for you to actually INTERACT with other people, your best bet is to be as passive-aggressive as possible.


    Because the only thing nastier than being mean is being nice.

    6. Avoid going to public places like Target on the weekend. You'll go, and you'll just want to throw a set of $2.99 hangers at every screaming toddler you see.

    7. Every time you hear something that displeases you, you are required to either roll your eyes or stare at the speaker like they are a fucking idiot.


    This is gospel.

    8. For legal purposes, it is preferable to imagine yourself throwing a drink at someone, as opposed to actually doing it.


    You want to avoid hanging out with people, especially in jail.

    9. On that note, avoid going to bars on weekends, unless you feel like having an absolutely miserable time.


    The best way to have a good time is to try not to have one.

    10. Or, if you are obligated to go, drink copious amounts of alcohol, because the only way you find people tolerable is when you are inebriated. White wine is preferable, but vodka will do the trick too.


    Drink till you can tolerate everyone.

    11. The above policy also applies to family holiday functions. If necessary, carry a flask with you.


    Who cares if you end up on the Naughty List?

    12. Always drive in the far left lane because there will be fewer cars and thus, fewer stupid drivers. Also, we know you're hauling ass.


    Ride or die.

    13. Although shoving people is more fun, just speed up and walk around slow walkers on the sidewalk.


    That way, you don't have to touch anyone.

    14. Pray every night for Starbucks to start instituting a policy where there is a line exclusively for people who have their shit together.

    15. When you talk to people, say as little as possible, and control your voice. Speaking smoothly is MUCH more terrifying than screaming at anyone.

    20th Century Fox

    Speak softly, but prepare to kick some ass.

    16. Never, EVER leave your house without your three most important weapons: iPhone, sunglasses, and ear buds.


    Like you ever would.

    17. When in doubt, whip out your cell phone and pretend that you are texting someone. Works EVERY time.

    Macey Foronda for BuzzFeed

    Be sure to ignore people in 140 characters or fewer.

    18. The most important word in your vocab starts with "F" and ends with "UCK." It's not fire truck. It's fuck.


    Use accordingly.

    19. Don't just sign up for Netflix, but get an HBO GO and Hulu password as well so you have something to do when you avoid people on the weekends.


    Think about what Khaleesi would do in your shoes.

    20. Making up fake, vague plans is the preferable way to avoid hanging out with people. In a worst-case scenario, pretend you have the cold.

    Lie till you die.

    21. In order to take out your stress, start playing a sport or pick up an activity. Of course, it should not involve anyone else.


    Spend some quality time with your favorite person: yourself.

    22. Avoid smiling at people. It makes them think you want to talk to them, and also causes wrinkles.


    You want to look hot and hate everyone, right?

    23. You may hate people, but the key to survival is finding a close group of friends who hate everyone else just as much as you do.

    Paramount Pictures

    Learn to love to hate, together!

    24. And finally, the answer is always "no."


    Unless the question is "Do you want us to leave you alone?"

    BuzzFeed Daily

    Keep up with the latest daily buzz with the BuzzFeed Daily newsletter!

    Newsletter signup form