You think you are royalty.Wait, scratch that. You KNOW you are royalty.Everyone else is a peasant.And they should bow down in your presence.You are not afraid of voicing your opinions.You are REALLY not afraid of voicing your opinions.That’s because you’re right, and they’re wrong.Your voice is loud.Your personality is loud.Actually, everything about you is loud.Like, you pretty much just have one volume: LOUD.That being said, you might sound your most threatening when you don’t even raise your own voice.It’s mainly because you’ve perfected the art of emphasizing the most important syllable in a word, to maximize dramatic effect.You also can say everything you want with your eyes.That’s because your resting bitchface is strong. Very strong.You also roll your eyes a lot.You also can do that thing where you laugh and smile, but it looks like you want to murder someone.Receiving a compliment from you is an incredible accomplishment.You are impatient.Like, you can’t stand to wait for anything. And that’s not a bad thing!The worst is when you have to wait in line for coffee at Starbucks.In a perfect world, Starbucks would have a “VIP” line just for you.Drinking coffee that isn’t Starbucks is sacrilegious and pains you greatly.You hate using public restrooms.In a perfect world, you would only do your business in the privacy of your own home. The peasants can have the public restrooms.You love when people hold doors open for you.Especially car doors.You always win arguments.You also ALWAYS have to have the last word.Really, at this point, people know better than to get in an argument with you. Unless they like losing.If something doesn’t go your way, you definitely “can’t even.”Or maybe you “literally can’t even.”Also, you frequently proclaim “I’m dying” when something isn’t to your liking, i.e., it’s too hot, so you’re “dying” from the heat.You always wear sunglasses.Sometimes, you even wear sunglasses indoors.Normally, you won’t leave the house unless you look ***Flawless.But sometimes, if you don’t give a fuck, you’ll leave in whatever, because people are just lucky to be around you.Actually, that’s a life motto for you: “I don’t give a fuck.”When you want something to happen, you want it to happen now.You’ve been called bossy, loud, obnoxious, or worse.It doesn’t bother you when people call you those things. Sticks and stones, baby.You’re definitely a little bit dramatic.And most of the time, you’re “so over” everything.Tap water just isn’t for you. At the very least, you need a Brita filter.But bottled water is preferable.Also, Diet Pepsi won’t do. It HAS to be Diet Coke.You like to sit at the head of the table.You like to sit shotgun in the car.You ABSOLUTELY have to have an aisle or window seat when you fly.You’re never early to any events.You’re never on time to any events.You’re ALWAYS fashionably late.You don’t walk, you strut.You don’t smile, you smize.You don’t sweat, you glisten.You don’t look, you glare.You don’t attend events, you grace people with your presence.You don’t just exist, you “radiate” and “glow.”It’s your way or the highway.But most important of all, you KNOW you are a diva and you own it.
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