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    27 Secrets Hogwarts Students Won't Tell You

    How do they manage their mischief?

    1. Receiving your letter from Hogwarts — even if you're from a wizarding family and know it is coming — is truly a magical experience.

    2. There is nothing — NOTHING — in the world like visiting Diagon Alley for the first time.

    3. But buying your wand at Ollivanders is actually a TERRIFYING experience.

    4. The best way to pass time on the Hogwarts Express is to spend as many of your Galleons, Sickles, and Knuts on the trolley lady.

    5. The Sorting Hat is actually kind of a dick.

    6. Gryffindors are pompous assholes...

    7. ...Ravenclaws are geeky nerds...

    8. ...and Slytherins turn into Death Eaters...

    9. ...Which means your best bet is probably to get sorted into Hufflepuff.

    10. The easiest way to be a cool kid is to make your house Quidditch team.

    11. Filch may be the one who doles out the punishment, but the one you REALLY have to watch out for is Mrs. Norris.

    12. Even if they say they don't, pretty much every witch (and some wizards) has a crush on Cedric Diggory.

    13. Care of Magical Creatures is a great course to take, so long as you're willing to put your life on the line every class.

    14. Always, ALWAYS stay on the Weasley twins' good side.

    15. It's usually a good idea to keep your distance from whoever is currently holding the Defense Against the Dark Arts position.

    16. No magic spell can prevent you from gaining the First-Year 15 from all the good food in the Great Hall.

    17. Dumbledore may look eccentric, even crazy at times, but he ALWAYS has the situation under control.

    18. Butterbeer is delicious, but if you REALLY want to have a good time, you'll go for the Firewhiskey.

    19. Paying a visit to the Forbidden Forest may *sound* badass and exciting on paper, but you really should avoid it at all costs.

    20. Avoid taking class with Hermione Granger because she will DESTROY the curve.

    21. It's a good idea to leave for class early; you never know when Peeves, one of the paintings, or the staircases will give you trouble.

    22. Only dweebs buy toads or cats; you're best off getting an owl.

    23. Professor McGonagall may be strict and you NEVER want to get on her bad side, but she is the most badass professor at Hogwarts.

    24. On the other hand, Snape is a straight-up asshole, unless you're a Slytherin.

    25. If you need to hook up with a fellow student, the Room of Requirement is usually your best bet.

    26. Slytherin will always win the House Cup, unless Harry Potter is enrolled, in which case Gryffindor will win.

    27. And finally, no one — NO ONE — thought any amount of magic could turn Neville Longbottom into the total babe that he became.