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24 Hilarious Quotes All Fans Of "The Office" Know By Heart

"The worst thing about prison was the Dementors!"

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3. This whole exchange involving Meredith's outfit:

NBC / Via

Toby: "Your outfit. You might consider pulling it down a touch?"

Meredith: "You're a bunch of prudes. You know, Oscar's allowed to wear sandals, but I'm not allowed to wear open-toe shoes?"

Oscar: "Meredith, your boob is out."

Meredith: "Fine."

Angela: "Too far, Meredith, too far!"

Kelly: "Dammit, Meredith, where are your panties?"

Meredith: "It's casual day."

4. Michael's financial woes:

NBC / Via


Oscar: "Hey, I just wanted you to know that you can't just say the word 'bankruptcy' and expect anything to happen."

Michael: "I didn't say it, I declared it."


5. When Dwight described his perfect February 14:

NBC / Via

"My perfect Valentine's Day? I'm at home, three cell phones in front of me. Fielding desperate calls from people who wanna buy one of the 50 restaurant reservations I made over six months ago."

6. When Creed was a little *too* invested in Meredith's well-being:

NBC / Via

Meredith: "They have me on a lot of painkillers."

Creed: "Oh, really? What kind? Codeine? Vicodin? Percocet? Fentanyl? Oxycontin? Palladone? What?"


9. When Creed was the epitome of tolerance:

NBC / Via

"I'm not offended by homosexuality. In the ’60s, I made love to many, many women, often outdoors, in the mud and the rain. And it's possible a man slipped in. There would be no way of knowing."

11. When Creed explained his stinky snack:

NBC / Via

Michael: "Okay, Ryan, you told Toby that Creed has a 'distinct old man smell'?"

Creed: "I know exactly what he's talking about. I sprout mung beans on a damp paper towel in my desk drawer. Very nutritious, but they smell like death."


14. When Kevin's Famous Chili...happened:

NBC / Via

"At least once a year, I like to bring in some of my Kevin's Famous Chili. The trick is to undercook the onions. Everybody is going to get to know each other in the pot. I'm serious about this stuff. I'm up the night before pressing garlic and dicing whole tomatoes. I toast my own ancho chiles. It's a recipe passed down from Malones for generations. It's probably the thing I do best."


19. When Angela shared this bit of family history:

NBC / Via

"In the Martin family, we like to say, 'Looks like someone took the slow train from Philly.' That's code for 'check out the slut.' Why are there flies in here?"

20. When Kelly thought she was about to go on a miracle diet:

NBC / Via

Kelly: "I swallowed a tapeworm last night. It's going to grow up to three feet inside of me, and then it eats all my food so that I don't get fat. And then after three months I take some medicine and then I pass it. Creed sold it to me. It's from Mexico."

Creed: "That wasn't a tapeworm."


21. When Michael tried to be woke, but Stanley proved he wasn't:

NBC / Via

Michael: "I am a victim of a hate crime. Stanley knows what I'm talking about."

Stanley: "That's not what a hate crime is."

Michael: "Well, I hated it a lot, okay?"