When you're gay, you have to come out twice: once as a homosexual, and a SECOND time as someone who loves iced coffee. I can't explain it, but gays hate hot coffee as much as they loathe parallel parking and Ed Sheeran simultaneously blocking Kesha, Lana Del Rey, and Lady Gaga from Best Pop Vocal Album at this year's Grammys.
1. At the risk of sounding dramatic, coffee HAS to be iced:
Me to any gay who doesn’t drink iced coffee:
2. I'm sorry, I don't make the rules:
gay culture is: 1. surviving on iced coffee 2. tweeting in lowercase 3. using drag queen reaction gifs instead of actual words
3. Like, this is a year-round thing:
It's always iced coffee/latte season if you're gay. Doesn't matter what the temperature is outside. We're like the postal service when it comes to iced coffee... "Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these homos from an iced coffee beverage." https://t.co/K70ODDN0L3
4. It's not seasonal! Iced coffee is really meant to be consumed year round:
the world: -7° outside, 3 feet of snow on the ground, earth literally splitting in half, global warming simultaneously consuming anything and everything on the planet gays: iced coffee pls :)
5. And if you think you're the only one, you're WRONG:
Am I the only gay that plans on getting iced coffee all winter?
6. It's basically our lifeblood:
Gays when they get their iced coffee
7. Seriously, it might even give us special powers:
gays drink iced coffee and wear crop tops all year round because we are powerful beings who don’t get cold
8. And some people (str8s) just don't understand this:
the lady at Starbucks today asked “are you sure you want it iced it’s cold outside today!” like bitch im gay all i drink is iced coffee
9. Like, when that sweet rush of caffeine hits, this usually happens:
the gays after drinking their iced coffee
10. One way to celebrate coming out is in liquid form (with lots of ice, of course):
Overheard my dad talking to my mom just now. Dad: “I read an article recently that a lot of gays like iced coffee— we should go get some tomorrow.” Mom: “what?” Dad: “I don’t know where they got the data in the study it’s just what they said.” Happy National Coming Out Day!
11. And we're sincerely sorry for anyone who gets in our way in our pursuit of iced coffee:
Gays on their way to get iced coffee in the morning
12. Because when we need some, nothing can stop us:
gay people parking their car to get iced coffee
13. Also, there's a strong chance we're going to put getting iced coffee first on our to-do list, no matter what:
gays walking into class 30 minutes late w iced coffee
14. Because obviously we have our priorities straight:
are you even gay if stopping to get iced coffee doesn’t make you late to work
15. Honestly, arriving late with an iced coffee in hand (the thing that made you late) is a lifestyle:
good morning only to gays arriving late because of their iced coffee
16. Having said that, this is very true:
gay people LOVEEE flexing that they drink iced coffee like we get it you like cold bean water
17. And this too (we all were just clocked):
gay people think iced coffee is a personality trait
18. This? This is the Gay Agenda:
Today’s schedule: 1) Get an iced coffee 2) drink iced coffee 3) be gay
19. And if there were a Gay Olympics for college students, this would be it too:
college gay olympics of trying to get an iced coffee before class starts
20. Anyways, be sure to do this today:
when you see a gay person make sure to thank them for inventing iced coffee
21. And don't mess with the gays, because we've DEFINITELY had our iced coffee today:
gays are inherently stronger because of their iced coffee consumption