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Fiona The Hippo Is An Artist Now And You Can Own Her First Painting

I love art.

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I've said it a million times before and I'll say it again: Fiona the Hippo is the unproblematic queen we ALL need to be stanning in 2018.

Cincinnati Zoo

Whether she is gracefully breaking wind...

Cincinnati Zoo

...photobombing a straight couple's engagement...

...or just serving FACE, Miss Fiona is constantly doing what? She's doing THAT.

Well now you can add accomplished artist to Fiona's resume, because her one-of-a-kind "Kiss" painting is on the market*, and it's currently the talk of the art world.

Instagram: @cincinnatizoo

*Technically it's not for sale, but you CAN win the IMPRESSIONIST painting if you participate in the Cincinnati Zoo's A.D.O.P.T. program.

Fiona's first masterpiece is obviously abstract in nature — while it is not representational of reality, it clearly communicates a sense of curiosity but also LOVE for her millions of adoring fans. I'd also like to point out the fact that Vincent Van Gogh, considered a "master" painter, sold a grand total of ONE painting in his entire life. Meanwhile, Fiona's *FIRST* painting already has more than 25,000 likes on Instagram. Taste is objective, but facts are facts.

This my friends, is the face of a budding artist, a craftsman (craftshippo?) with an unparalleled oeuvre, a painting sensation. Picasso is cancelled, Vermeer is rotting, and Jackson Pollock can take his drip-droppy nonsense and throw it in the nearest trashcan. The ONLY painter I care about is Fiona!

It goes without saying but...Fiona, we can't wait to see what you paint next. The world is your canvas!


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