1. Murdering your brother so you can take over his kingdom.
2. Having not one, but TWO moray eels as pets.
3. Cursing a baby because her parents didn't invite you to her christening.
4. Committing your crush's father to an insane asylum so she'll decide to marry you.
5. Sending your henchman to bring your stepdaughter's heart back in a box... because she is HOTTER than you.
6. Alternatively, using your stepdaughter as your maid.
7. Using an apple — not a sword, an axe, even black magic — as a weapon. A GODDAMN APPLE.
8. Turning into a giant cobra. You know, just because.
9. Kidnapping 101 little puppies so you can have the fur coat of your dreams.
10. Accidentally turning the emperor into a llama.
11. Taking someone's voice. Yup, their voice.
12. Having an secret evil laboratory.
13. Having a hook for a hand. A HOOK.
14. Wearing THIS outfit that lights up with magical green fire, and looking great in it too.
15. Kidnapping a baby girl and keeping her locked in a tower so you always look hot.
16. Constantly calling for beheadings to appease your bad temper.
17. Poisoning your nephew...
18. ...So you can take over your brother's mountaintop estate.
19. Turning into a gigantic, fire-breathing dragon.
20. Holding a grudge against a flying teenager to the point you want to duel him to the death.
21. Being so into yourself that you rip open your shirt at bars and brag about your body hair.
22. Having evil henchmen who screw up ALL the time so you have to finish your evil plans yourself.
23. Not being excited for your birthday because you need to go murder the emperor, who is currently a llama.
24. And finally, being this handsome and STILL being the bad guy.
