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A Definitive Ranking Of High School Cliques

High school: Where it isn't always cool to be cool.

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20. Peripheral Popular Kids

CBS / Via

Popular Kids need other high schoolers who *actually* think they should be popular. That's where the Peripheral Popular Kids come in.

Pros: They're sort of like the tissues you use to pad your bra: Someone's got to fill the space.

Cons: Their shit stinks. They just don't know it yet.

Final Grade: D

19. Stoners

Jason Oxenham / Getty Images

In a perpetual haze and seemingly always craving Taco Bell, the Stoners are like the high school version of zombies.

Pros: They're like, so chill, ya know brah?

Cons: School just harshes their mellow.

Final Grade: C-

18. Overachievers

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The Overachievers get off on doing lots of stuff. They seem to have missed the memo that people aren't supposed to accomplish anything until they're like 30.

Pros: Best type of person to end up with in a group project.

Cons: Being around them is like handling a chihuahua. Except they get straight As.

Final Grade: C


16. VIP Crew

MTV / Via

The VIP Crew is 17 going on 30. Fake ID always in hand, they're already so over high school. At this point, they're just here for their diploma.

Pros: They always know where the hot parties are.

Cons: There is no way you can keep up with their liver or their budget.

Final Grade: C+

15. Goody Two-Shoes

NBC Universal / Via

Eternally energetic and upbeat, there is no problem too big for the Goody-Two Shoes to tackle. Like a hamster in its wheel, they never stop moving, even if they never actually get anywhere.

Pros: Someone's got to save the planet, right?

Cons: It's OK to have a cup of coffee that isn't fair trade every now and then.

Final Grade: C+

14. Premature Rock Stars

Kevin C. Cox / Getty Images

The Rock Kids are already fighting "The Man" at the tender age of 15.

Pros: Probably the first bad boy/girl you'll ever have a crush on.

Cons: They think they're the next Pink Floyd when really they're Nickelback, at best.

Final Grade: B-


13. Popular Kids

E! Television / Via

Some kids want good grades. Others want to excel on the field. Popular Kids, on the other hand, thrive on drama — and not the theater type.

Pros: Um, they throw parties?

Cons: Popularity is a monarchy, not a democracy. You're born high school popular or you aren't.

Final Grade: B-

12. Theater Nerds

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Lots of high schoolers pretend to be someone they're not to fit in. Theater nerds do the same, except on a stage in front of an audience, so they end up standing out.

Pros: They sing! They dance! They sing AND dance at the same time!

Cons: They won't stop singing or dancing.

Final Grade: B-

11. Jocks

NFL / CBS / Via


Pros: They date the hottest girls and guys and always got the best parking spot and choicest table in the cafeteria.

Cons: There's nothing wrong with being good at sports, but at a certain point it's like, your best feature is throwing a ball, you know?

Final Grade: B

10. Cool Underclassmen

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Barely out of their diapers and partying harder than most upperclassmen.

Pros: Yeah, they may just have hit puberty but they're all like "YOLO" and stuff.

Cons: Voice cracks.

Final Grade: B


9. Pretty People

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For this very, very small minority of high schoolers, puberty was not the hellish experience that it was for most of us common folk.

Pros: They're hot.

Cons: They know they're hot.

Final Grade: B+

8. Band Geeks

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For a select few, tooting into an expensive metal tube is considered fun. These are the band geeks.

Pros: They like to blow each others horns ;)

Cons: Ugh, those uniforms.

Final Grade: B+

7. Smarty Pants

Columbia Pictures / Via

NERD ALERT. These guys are Ivy League-bound and smart as hell.

Pros: If you play your cards right, you can get one of these guys to help tutor you in science.

Cons: They ALWAYS ruin the curve.

Final Grade: B+

6. Alternative Jocks

Craig Sillitoe / Getty Images Sport

They're hot, but they play a sport no one gives a rat's ass about.

Pros: They have a sense of humility because they're good at a sport that has no social clout.

Cons: Because they didn't excel at the "cool" sports, alternative jocks sometimes have a chip on their shoulders.

Final Grade: A-


5. Indie Kids

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The high school version of hipsters. They were drinking espresso in middle school and are Pitchfork writers-in-training.

Pros: Slightly pretentious but befriend them and you will feel cool beyond your teenage years.

Cons: They're always so *OVER IT*.

Final Grade: A-

4. Pretty People "B" Squad

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Sort of like the Canada to the Pretty People's U.S.A., the PP "B" Squad is pretty much the same thing but with a better attitude.

Pros: Good looking, but not as good-looking as the pretty people. They know they're cooler than you but also realize it's based on a superficial thing like the fact they are genetically #blessed.

Cons: They're still way hotter than you.

Final Grade: A

3. Floaters

Walt Disney Pictures / Via

Social butterflies on steroids.

Pros: They're adaptable, like a chameleon. One day they might hang with the theater nerds and the next day the jocks.

Cons: What if they're secretly a spy for one of the other cliques?

Final Grade: A

2. Artsy Fartsy Kids

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If Van Gogh went to high school, he'd be right at home with the Artsy Fartsy Kids. Except in this clique, everyone (hopefully) still has both of their ears.

Pros: Everyone can doodle. These peeps can just doodle way, way better than you.

Cons: They're always covered in paint.

Final Grade: A

1. Closet Nerds

Don't let their looks deceive you. Like a Gusher, the closet nerd has a surprise inside: In this case, they're super smart.

Pros: Looks aren't everything. Looks and brains? That's another story.

Cons: A little too perfect.

Final Grade: A+