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18 Tweets That Prove Christine Sydelko (Not Chrissy Teigen) Is The Funniest Christine On Twitter

I'm taking a stand.

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It feels like not a day goes by on BuzzFeed that we're posting about Chrissy Teigen's every move. And listen — I'm GUILTY. AS. CHARGED! So to make amends, I've decided to mix things up and write about ANOTHER iconic internet Christine...MISS CHRISTINE SYDELKO!!!

Frazer Harrison / Getty Images, Emma Mcintyre / Getty Images

TBH my new life goal is to get brunch with these two ladies. Christines, if you see this...email me and let's do brunch. You pick the place, and we can expense it to BuzzFeed.

1. And while Chrissy Teigen might be *amazing* at Twitter...Christine's tweets really are *kisses fingers like an Italian chef*:

I may DRESS like a retired football coach but I ALSO have the body of a retired football coach

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Yeah, this one:

Ok but why do I look like the fucking ride

3. And IDK, maybe this is just funny to me...but I'm in tears:

4. WHO AMONG US HAS NOT THOUGHT THIS?:

I refuse to drive behind school buses because I'm afraid the cool kids sitting in the back are gonna taunt me

5. Also, the time she shared this terrifying tale:

I just saw a swedish fish in my bed out of the corner of my eye and thought it was a period stain and now my heart is literally pounding bye

6. And this pretty scary one too:

one time a creepy old man on the bus asked me what my favorite food was so I said "appetizers" and got off even though it wasn't my stop

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7. She came up with this hilarious/amazing party idea:

I want to throw a sin party where I serve shrimp and there's a tattoo station and everyone has to wear cotton and women are allowed to talk

8. And is asking the important questions:

how are we as a society not sure exactly how old Mariah Carey is??what does that say about us?

9. She fights the status quo of the Hollywood studio system:

movie studio: we are gonna produce a movie set in ancient Egypt casting director: here's a white guy wearing eyeliner

10. And isn't above letting us into her daily struggles:

of all the times I've broken a nail in my life 95% of them have been from trying to open a pistachio

11. She critiques broken institutions:

sororities are just cults with more clapping and jumping

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12. And shares her personal history:

I think my parents really wanted me to be a lesbian

13. She's not messing around:

just like my pre school t ball game, I didn't come here to play

14. And inventing new phrases left and right (DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON SHOOKETH):

15. She might be getting more and more famous...but she's still one of us:

I'm flying first class drinking ginger ale and a girl just came up and asked me for my autograph I feel like Scotty Pippen

And when life (Jacob Sartorius) hands her lemons (or in this case, pineapples)...

be a 🍍 stand tall, wear a crown, & be sweet on the inside

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16. She makes lemonade:

scoop out your insides and serve a piña colada in your newly hollow chest cavity https://t.co/TfvBS8xAIJ

17. And when someone pointed out that they caught her on old episode's of Steve Harvey's show...

I was randomly watching Steve Harvey videos on YouTube as one does and is this literally you, @csydelko ...like wha… https://t.co/EN57k6sQzF

18. Christine shared this hilarious anecdote...

lmao I used to go to that show like twice a week https://t.co/PHZ8pXcQnA

19. ...and this one:

one time during a commercial break I asked him if he would write me a letter of recommendation and he said no because I might be a murderer

Every. Tasty. Video. EVER. The new Tasty app is here!

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