In case you've been wasting your time paying attention to "important" shit such as the presidential race or ISIS or something, it's a pretty well-known fact that Britney Spears' Instagram is the MOST IMPORTANT Instagram.
Whether it's sharing #COOL #RELATABLE #CONTENT like pictures of her bruised knees...
...or confusing this self-portrait of da Vinci and the Vitruvian Man with God and Jesus, respectively...
...or sharing memes like the domestic goddess/no-bullshit-tolerating mom that she is, Britney Jean has been SLAYING your faves on Instagram for a while.
Britney just does things DIFFERENTLY than other pop stars — and we're not talking about the fact she seriously needs to wipe the grease off her iPhone camera.
For most pop stars, Instagram is where you share museum-quality shots of your picture-perfect lifestyle.
Take Beyoncé. She's enjoying a tropical vacation, and can't even be bothered to look at the camera while the photographer (probably Michelle Williams, TBH) takes the picture.
But Britney couldn't even bother to wipe the grime off her iPhone before she uploaded this selfie to Instagram. Her hair is askew, and she isn't trying to play it ~chill~ for her audience.
When pop stars like Selena Gomez upload selfies to Instagram, they look like they belong in the Louvre. Everything about this photo is perfect. Selena's hair and makeup are red carpet ready. The lighting is on point.
Britney, on the other hand, isn't trolling for likes. Her face is bruised (she walked into a pole before taking this picture, IDKIDK) and she's clearly NOT about to walk a red carpet.
How about pictures with your man candy? Normally, pop stars like Taylor Swift take "candid" pictures with their hot, shirtless European boyfriends that are perfectly filtered.
Britney doesn't play this game. From the looks of this picture, she was walking in the mall, saw a model hanging in the window of The Art of Shaving, and the thirst struck hard.
Food pics are another way for pop stars like Katy Perry to show off their fab lives. Here she is in BANGKOK eating a scorpion. She might not have a Grammy, but Katy is clearly living life in the fast lane.
While Katy had to go all the way to Asia to get her food picture, Britney didn't even get off her couch. She literally googled a picture of corn, screenshot it, and then uploaded to Instagram.
Let's stay on food pics for a hot second.
Here, Nicki Minaj shares some #SPON #CONTENT, hoping to convince you to buy some Myx Moscato. Everything from the pool in the background to the ripeness of the raspberries is TOP-NOTCH and MOUTHWATERING.
Then there's Britney. She doesn't give a flying fuck about "production values." Her picture of half-eaten bread is blurry, the lighting sucks, and she literally uploaded the picture because the bread was "HOT."
Ready for some #FITSPO? Pop divas like Ellie Goulding are into sharing perfectly staged photos of workouts that are squeezed into their insane celeb schedules. Despite the fact she's working out, Ellie looks like an ethereal fairy.
Not our Britney Jean. She's all about funny, plain Jane content, hence this HILARIOUS picture of her "saving" her mom while out on the trails. Just look at the silly face. Hikeney is the relatable fitness goddess we need in our lives.
How about nature pics? Divas like Mariah Carey normally post FLAWLESS photos like this glamorous beach shot. Everything from the pose to the exotic beach locale induces envy. She looks like a Bond girl on vacation.
Your guess is as good as mine as to what is happening here. I think Britney Instagrammed a picture of a bush while on a hike.
Pop stars like Lady Gaga love to capture "real life" moments. Of course here, she's guest editing an issue of V magazine in between takes of her Golden Globe–winning role on American Horror Story.
But our princess of Frappuccinos shared this intimate moment, and honestly, everything about it from the iPhone 5 (SHE STILL HASN'T UPGRADED HER DAMN PHONE) to the bad lighting and blurriness is just so...powerful.
Sometimes, pop stars use Instagram as a soapbox to make a statement. Here, Rihanna shares a super-saucy close-up of her...ugh..."bathing suit" and tells the paparazzi to screw off. It's all very sassy.
Britney just thinks mean people suck.
In conclusion, Instagram is just a platform for pop stars to show off how different their lives are — Miley Cyrus, for instance, doesn't have a "regular" job so she can toke up on a random Monday.
And then there's Britney, who just wants a chocolate milkshake with her boys. SO CRAZY!!!
SLAY, QUEEN OF INSTAGRAM. SLAY!!!
Music Week is a week of content that celebrates the awesome classic jams, artists, and music videos you grew up with — as well as future classics. Take a step back in time and check out more great music content here.
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