You’re single.You’re VERY single.You have not been on a date in the last month.You have not been on a date in the last SIX months.Your general hygiene is pretty lax.Like, you shave pretty irregularly.And if you ever skip a shower or brushing your teeth, it isn’t the end of the world.Also, there probably is that huge clump of hair in the drain of your shower.You fart, burp, and sneeze with reckless abandon.You’re comfortable pooping in places other than the comfort of your own home.That includes your office.You sometimes catch yourself talking to yourself.You FREQUENTLY catch yourself talking to yourself.You also sometimes talk to inanimate objects.Or animals (preferably cats) as if they are going to respond to you.You eat cereal straight out of the box.And peanut butter and Nutella straight out of the jar.And ice cream right out of the carton.Actually, your preferred method of eating is straight from the container.Also, you strongly believe in the five-second rule.Actually, if your food is on the floor for a little longer than five seconds, it’s not THAT big of a deal.You’ve perfected the art of cooking for one.Or, you just really make good use of your microwave.Or, you just order in. A lot.There are also probably a lot of dirty dishes in your sink.Like, maybe the delivery guy like, knows you by now.And if you get a little food on your clothes, it isn’t the end of the world.And you definitely get a little food on your face.And you most DEFINITELY have perfected the art of nonchalantly spilling your drink on yourself.You are ALL about your sweatpants.And your Snuggie.And you wear your sweater with the hood UP.Going to bars gives you anxiety.Like, you’d rather spend a Friday night in watching Netflix.Or curled up, reading a book.That’s because being around a lot of people gives you anxiety.Because you firmly believe people suck, in general.Also, you are an awkward dancer.You’re the single friend.Like, most of your friends are in relationships, and you’re still just flying solo.And maybe they act a little worried about your iron streak of singledom.And if they’re not, your mom is DEFINITELY concerned.But really, you have your excuses ready.Even if you yourself are concerned about always being a party of one.You live alone.And sometimes drink alone.And sometimes you walk around in your apartment/house/living space in your undies JUST BECAUSE.And you’re totally cool with it.That’s because when it comes to fucks, you give zero.Oh, and you have a cat.
Are You Destined To Become A Crazy Cat Lady?
You probably won't become a Crazy Cat Lady! You're outgoing, social, and a little bit of a flirt, so you just don't seem to be compatible with a house full of cats down the road. And that's fine! Keep on living it up, because your life is FAB. U. LOUS.
There is a CHANCE you could become a Crazy Cat Lady one day, and that's cool! You lead a balanced lifestyle, seeing the value in both going out and staying in. You have strong friendships, but your dating life could use a little work. Just remember, it's OK to lay off the pizza and get out of the apartment every now and then!
You just might become a Crazy Cat Lady, and that's cool! You're the type of person who likes to go out sometimes, but probably prefers a lazy night in. And that's totally fine, because it's working for you. Yeah, it's been difficult finding The One... But you'll always have your cats (hopefully)!
Most likely, you will end up as a Crazy Cat Lady! You might be a bit of an introvert, or maybe a little awkward, or maybe a combination of both. And that's fine! Not everyone is cut out for the fabulous life of dating. Concentrate on being your best self, and you'll be able to have your cats AND find The One, too!
Yup, you're probably going to end up as a Crazy Cat Lady. And are you surprised? You've got the whole "flying solo" act down to a science, and that's cool. Just remember, if you mix it up with a few showers and maybe a date every now and then, you can find your soulmate — and still get to keep your catmates.
You are 100 percent certified Crazy Cat Lady material. Being a friend to felines runs in your blood, and you very well may die single. Yeah, people tend to let you down, but don't be afraid to give someone a chance. Who knows, you may end up walking down the aisle. Your cat can be Maid of Honor or Best Man, of course.