As any true cinephile knows, the 2004 seminal classic Mean Girls is scientifically proven to be the most quotable movie of all time. But the question remains: What are the BEST quotes from Mean Girls?
To answer this question, BuzzFeed employed a highly scientific equation — hereafter referred to as the “Fetch Factor” — in ranking quotes from Mean Girls. As such, these rankings should be considered binding and final — like the Burn Book.
68. “This is the fertility vase of the Ndebele tribe. Does that mean anything to you.”
Fetch Factor: Some fetch points, but only because Cady’s mom (does anyone know her real name?) pulls off this line with such sincerity. She deserved an award nomination.
67. “There are two kinds of evil people in this world. Those who do evil stuff and those who see evil stuff being done and don’t try to stop it.”
Fetch Factor: Sort of fetch. Randomly, Mean Girls has a lot of deep quotes and this is the first on the list.
58. Gretchen: “My hairline is so weird.” Regina: “My pores are huge.” Karen: “My nail beds suck.” Cady: “I have really bad breath in the morning.”
Fetch Factor: Sort of fetch? I mean, does it piss anyone else off that the worst thing Karen could complain about were her nail beds? Like, ~ whatever ~ gurl, you can put your whole fist in your mouth.
57. “It’s like I have ESPN or something.”
Fetch Factor: Pretty fetch. Before Mean Girls ESPN was just a regional sports network that showed Ping-Pong. Then, this movie put the channel on the map — and the rest is history. Stuart Scott, you can thank Karen Smith for your career.
54. “Do you guys need anything? Some snacks? A condom? Let me know. Oh god, love you.”
Fetch Factor: Slightly fetch, but also weird because the lady from “Weekend Update” is about to see the guy from Homeland screw her daughter who is also the girl from The Notebook.
53. “I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy.”
Fetch Factor: Actually, pretty fetch despite the fact she DOESN’T EVEN GO HERE. And also, that rainbows and smiles cake would taste like SHIT.
50. “I, like, invented her, you know what I mean?”
Fetch Factor: Sly in its fetchness. I mean, you feel sort of sorry for Regina at this point, until you realize she has a smokin’ hot boyfriend, drives a silver Lexus, and is also a raging bitch.
46. “She’s a scum-sucking road whore. She ruined my life!”
Fetch Factor: Right-on fetch. Janice Ian serves some angsty teen realness throughout the movie, and this is a prime example. Also, this is an insult we all should use more often. Go on, call the next person you see a “scum-sucking road whore.”
45. “These sweatpants are all that fit me right now.”
Fetch Factor: Stretched to the fetchness. Although we all learned a valuable lesson: If you don’t speak Swedish, you’ll accidentally eat protein bars that will make you gain weight like crazy.
39. “I don’t think that my father, the inventor of Toaster Strudel, would be too pleased to hear about this.”
Fetch Factor: Toasty fetch. Also, Gretchen has a point. Except how did we not see ANYONE consume a Toaster Strudel in Mean Girls? I bet her father wouldn’t be too pleased about that either.
37. “In girl world, Halloween is the one night a year when a girl can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it.”
Fetch Factor: Like, SO fetch. If anything, this quote hits the nail a little TOO on the head.
36. Cady: “Is there alcohol in this?” Mrs. George: “Oh god, honey, no! What kind of mother do you think I am? Why, do you want a little bit? Because if you’re gonna drink I’d rather you did it in the house.”
Fetch Factor: Def fetch. Mrs. George has, like, five lines in this movie, and they are all so ~ quotable ~.
30. Damian: “My nana takes her wig off when she’s drunk.” Ms. Norbury: “Your nana and I have that in common.”
Fetch Factor: Can we all admit that Ms. Norbury might be the best part of Mean Girls? Are we even surprised, considering Tina is queen? QUEEN TINA.
16. “One time I saw Cady Heron wearing army pants and flip-flops. So I bought army pants and flip-flops.”
Fetch Factor: Weirdly fetch. Like, we all knew this girl in high school and avoided her like the plague but she’s quietly one of the best parts of Mean Girls.
13. “I’m not like a regular mom. I’m a cool mom.”
Fetch Factor: Like, so fetch. Like, everyone’s mom has said this at one point or another, right? It’s just that not every mom has rock-hard implants ready to crush you every time she goes in for a hug.
9. “You all have got to stop calling each other sluts and whores. It just makes it OK for guys to call you sluts and whores.”
Fetch Factor: Fetch as fuck, because as much as we were laughing throughout the movie, Ms. Norbury hit pretty close to home.
8. “The limit does not exist.”
Fetch Factor: HELLA fetch. I mean, no one actually knows what Cady means, but this sounds like some deep shit. Also, you can say it in basically any situation. “How many chicken nuggets can I eat?” THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
6. “Gretchen, I’m sorry I laughed at you that time you got diarrhea at Barnes & Noble. And I’m sorry for telling everyone about it. And I’m sorry for repeating it now.”
Fetch Factor: SO fetch. Barnes & Noble would be IRRELEVANT if it were not for this quote.
3. “Calling somebody else fat won’t make you any skinnier. Calling someone stupid doesn’t make you any smarter. And ruining Regina George’s life definitely didn’t make me any happier. All you can do in life is try to solve the problem in front of you.”
Fetch Factor: Way, way fetch. Yeah, it’s not a super zinger. But when you boil Mean Girls down to a single message, doesn’t this quote have to take the cake?
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