16 Words That Have A Totally Different Meaning In Newcastle

"I'll have some of that monkey's blood, ta pet."

1. "Football."

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What it usually means: a popular sport played between two opposing sets of 11 players.

What it means in Newcastle: the difference between a good week or a terrible one (usually the latter).

2. "Big market."

REX

What it usually means: a large area of public commerce.

What it means in Newcastle: the vomit-splashed, charva-invested tenth circle of hell (better known as 'Bigg Market').

3. "Bridge."

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What it usually means: a manmade structure that spans a physical obstacle.

What it means in Newcastle: the height of engineering prowess and disproportionate source of local pride.

4. "Mortal."

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What is usually means: being vulnerable to death.

What it means in Newcastle: being vulnerable to six treble vodkas, eight shots of Sambuca and a pint of Strongbow.

5. "Haddaway."

Arista Records

What it usually means: a Trinidadian-German singer best known for his 1993 hit "What Is Love".

What it means in Newcastle: a proclamation of negativity or disbelief, i.e. "Haddaway n shite man, there's no way I'm wearin' short like that!"

6. "Sunderland."

Lucasfilm

What is usually means: a city in the North-East of England.

What it means in Newcastle: a wretched hive of scum and villainy.

7. "Monkey's blood."

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What is usually means: the bodily fluid found in primates that delivers necessary nutrients and oxygen to cells.

What it means in Newcastle: the red stuff the man in the ice cream man puts on your '99.

8. "Get wrong."

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What it usually means: do or answer incorrectly.

What it means in Newcastle: when your Mam tells you off for choring your sister's Mini Milk.

9. "Pop."

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What is usually means: music with mainstream appeal.

What it means in Newcastle: what you drink with your fish n chips.

10. "Shore."

MTV

What is usually means: the land along the edge of a sea, lake or large river.

What it means in Newcastle: a gaggle of shrill, perma-tanned inebriates paid to debase themselves and the area. Usually not actually from Newcastle.

11. "Bubble."

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What it usually means: a sphere of gas surrounded by a liquid

What it means in Newcastle: what you did like a bairn in 2009 when the Toon were relegated.

12. "Summer."

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What is usually means: a period of clement weather, usually between the months of June and September.

What it means in Newcastle: a single weekend in mid August when everyone strips down to their underwear and sprints straight to Tynemouth beach.

13. "Peeve."

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What it usually means: to annoy or irritate.

What it means in Newcastle: the source of all that is good in the world.

14. "London."

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What is usually means: the capital city, and economic and cultural hub of England.

What it means in Newcastle: a noisy, dirty, overcrowded shithole where everyone's a bit of a c**t.

15. "Coat."

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What is usually means: a warm outer layer of clothing designed to insulate during cold weather.

What it means in Newcastle: no translation available.

16. "Kite."

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What it usually means: a light frame covered with thin material flown in the wind at the end of a long string.

What it means in Newcastle: the blubbery legacy of well-spent youth, usually developing in your mid-to-late 30s.