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    What Is Bernie Sanders Doing?

    The American People need to know.

    Is he asking for the check at the end of a meal?

    Is he trying to thread a needle?

    Is he picking a lock?

    Is he playing the world's tiniest fiddle?

    Is he turning a ceiling fan on?

    Is he placing a thumbtack on a tiny globe?

    Is he eating sushi while on the campaign trail?

    Is he getting much needed advice from Jerry, his imaginary (and most trusted advisor) hummingbird friend?

    Is he holding a piece of lint he found in his belly button earlier that day?

    Is he graciously placing a piece of cheddar cheese on a mouse trap?

    Is he sprinkling a little extra NACL on his spaghetti?

    Is he trying to clean an elephant's ear with a q-tip?

    (Damnit Jerry, I thought he told you to stay up on your perch while he is giving campaign speeches?)

    Is he holding a friendly neighborhood rat by the tail?

    Is he debating a Republican Presidential candidates' penis girth with fellow candidate Hillary Clinton?

    Is he blowing a bubble?

    Is he pinching a teet?

    I guess the world will never know.