Chelsea (NY): He hid a lil poop in your apartment, up to you to find it.
Tom P. (London): The exact time and nature of your death.
Baxter (Mexico): He is the two-faced sloth. One of the Original Five who roamed the Earth. He is not hiding anything, he is just showing us his vengeful face. On the other side, we can see his forgiveness face.
Chris G. (NY): *Opens fridge to find an empty milk jug. Looks up.*
Kaelin (NY): He just ate the last Pop-Tart but didn't throw the box away, so your ass is about to be tricked and disappointed.
Candace (LA): He just crop-dusted.
Flo (London): He's a gay sloth.
Michelle (SF): He's a cat in a sloth costume from Party City.
Summer (NY): He's literally a living dwarf planet (like Pluto!) covered in fur and sent to earth to make people happy.
Andrew (NY): "...I can run."