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Non-Sloths React To Common Sloth Things

"He's a cat in a sloth costume from Party City."

We asked BuzzFeed employees from around the world, who are not sloths, to see if they could identify these run-of-the-mill sloth activities.

1. "What's this sloth doing?"

Bryant (NY): Stretching.

Shayan (Mumbai): Trying to shake a coconut loose for brunch.

Brad (Australia): Praying for rain. Or taking a shit.

Loryn (NY): Waiting for banana.

Summer (NY): Pooping with a joy we have all known.

2. "What is this sloth eating?"

Michelle (SF): Forest Fries.

Joanna (NY): Chompin' on long squiggles.

Andrew (NY): Eating some crispy noodles. I'm jealous.

Tom P. (London): Wicker.

Chelsea (NY): Tender shoots!!!

3. "How many hours per day do sloths sleep?"

Baxter (Mexico): 32.

Adam (NY): As many as I wish I did.

Flo (London): 23.5.

Summer (NY): Just eight, but the rest of their day is spent in a half-woke meditative state.

Arianna (NY): 19.

4. "What are the natural predators of sloths?"

Bryant (NY): Themselves? I remember learning that they end up falling to their demise because they mistake their arms for a tree branch.

Jean-Luc (NY): Shia LeBeouf.

Michelle (NY): I don't know if they have natural predators??? Who would eat a sloth?!

Erin (LA): No one. Sloths are badass bitches who don't put up with anyone's shit.

Candace (LA): Jaguars... any big jungle cats.

5. "What do sloths look for in a mate?"

Shayan (Mumbai): Sloth.

Kaelin (NY): Someone who is very snuggly, fuzzy and also kind.

Michelle (SF): Button noses.

Chris G. (NY): Lack of speed.

Brad (Australia): Booty.

6. "Where on Earth do sloths live? Where's their habitat?"

Andrew (NY): In trees. In trees.


Jean-Luc (NY): The space between the fridge and the sofa.

Joanna (NY): Wet forest?

Arianna (NY): Rainforests??????? Tropical islands.

7. "What secret is this sloth hiding?"

Matt Stopera / BuzzFeed / Via

Chelsea (NY): He hid a lil poop in your apartment, up to you to find it.

Tom P. (London): The exact time and nature of your death.

Baxter (Mexico): He is the two-faced sloth. One of the Original Five who roamed the Earth. He is not hiding anything, he is just showing us his vengeful face. On the other side, we can see his forgiveness face.

Chris G. (NY): *Opens fridge to find an empty milk jug. Looks up.*

Kaelin (NY): He just ate the last Pop-Tart but didn't throw the box away, so your ass is about to be tricked and disappointed.

Candace (LA): He just crop-dusted.

Flo (London): He's a gay sloth.

Michelle (SF): He's a cat in a sloth costume from Party City.

Summer (NY): He's literally a living dwarf planet (like Pluto!) covered in fur and sent to earth to make people happy.

Andrew (NY): "...I can run."

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