1. "Didn't know I ordered this slice with a side of INJUSTICE."
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2. "I have terrible indigestion at the indignity of this!"
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3. "Excuse me, I can just hear you breathing over there. Your equipment isn't that secretive."
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4. "Did you want some? Are you the National SHARING Agency now?"
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5. "I can cheat on my diet if I WANT TO, thank you VERY much."
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6. "We understand that it's not delivery. We're squirrels, not idiots."
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7. "Lasht time I checked, thish ish AMERICAH, pal."
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8. "Doesn't the Patriot Act allow me to do this?"
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9. "Pepperoni should be pepper-lonely. I don't need the company, fellas."
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10. "MAYBE I LIKE A PICNIC I DO NOT BELIEVE THAT IS ILLEGAL CURRENTLY IN THIS COUNTRY."
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11. "I know I'm a little lactose intolerant, but I'm not going to let that stop me."
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12. "Are you trying to take a picture of me or of the beautiful setting behind me? Choose wisely."
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13. "It's my last bite, dude, just let me finish this in peace."
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14. "WHAT'S NEXT, UNIVERSAL HEALTHCARE?!"
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15. "Whatever. I have nothing to hide at this point."
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16. "Go ahead, I've put worse things on MySpace."
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17. "I bought this piece of sauceless and cheeseless pizza, and I think that's enough shame for one day."
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18. "Can't you read the sign? It means 'GIVE ME PEACE,' so step off."
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19. "I thought this tree was the last safe place on Earth. Guess not."
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20. "Y'know, murderers are just running around the streets while you're doing this."
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21. "I call it 'squeeza.' It's squirrel plus pizza. Creative, no? You're writing all of this down, why?"
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22. "DOES THIS PIZZA MAKE MY BUTT LOOK BIG?"
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23. "Friggin' government, busting down my doors every damn day."
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24. "YOU CAN USE THE ZOOM FUNCTION, YOU DON'T NEED TO STAND THIS CLOSE. JEEZ."
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25. "It's just a little snack. It's nothing I should be ashamed about."
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26. "I could care less. Spy allllllllll you'd like."
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27. "Paid $2 for this pizza, and I intend to sit here until I have finished what I paid for."
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28. "I LAUGH IN THE FACE OF DANGER."
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29. "Pizza is my family now."
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