Updated on Aug 21, 2020. Posted on Aug 21, 2013

Massive Database Of Squirrels Eating Pizza Uncovered

What an extreme breach of freedom by the NSA (National Squirrel Agency). A very patriotic Reddit user exposed the astonishing collection of private photos.

Sami Main

BuzzFeed Staff

1. "Didn't know I ordered this slice with a side of INJUSTICE."

2. "I have terrible indigestion at the indignity of this!"

3. "Excuse me, I can just hear you breathing over there. Your equipment isn't that secretive."

4. "Did you want some? Are you the National SHARING Agency now?"

5. "I can cheat on my diet if I WANT TO, thank you VERY much."

6. "We understand that it's not delivery. We're squirrels, not idiots."

7. "Lasht time I checked, thish ish AMERICAH, pal."

8. "Doesn't the Patriot Act allow me to do this?"

9. "Pepperoni should be pepper-lonely. I don't need the company, fellas."

10. "MAYBE I LIKE A PICNIC I DO NOT BELIEVE THAT IS ILLEGAL CURRENTLY IN THIS COUNTRY."

11. "I know I'm a little lactose intolerant, but I'm not going to let that stop me."

12. "Are you trying to take a picture of me or of the beautiful setting behind me? Choose wisely."

13. "It's my last bite, dude, just let me finish this in peace."

14. "WHAT'S NEXT, UNIVERSAL HEALTHCARE?!"

15. "Whatever. I have nothing to hide at this point."

16. "Go ahead, I've put worse things on MySpace."

17. "I bought this piece of sauceless and cheeseless pizza, and I think that's enough shame for one day."

18. "Can't you read the sign? It means 'GIVE ME PEACE,' so step off."

19. "I thought this tree was the last safe place on Earth. Guess not."

20. "Y'know, murderers are just running around the streets while you're doing this."

21. "I call it 'squeeza.' It's squirrel plus pizza. Creative, no? You're writing all of this down, why?"

22. "DOES THIS PIZZA MAKE MY BUTT LOOK BIG?"

23. "Friggin' government, busting down my doors every damn day."

24. "YOU CAN USE THE ZOOM FUNCTION, YOU DON'T NEED TO STAND THIS CLOSE. JEEZ."

25. "It's just a little snack. It's nothing I should be ashamed about."

26. "I could care less. Spy allllllllll you'd like."

27. "Paid $2 for this pizza, and I intend to sit here until I have finished what I paid for."

28. "I LAUGH IN THE FACE OF DANGER."

29. "Pizza is my family now."

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