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Here's Meowseph Stalin's Adorable Five-Year Plan

Meowseph Stalin, a very stern yet cuddly cat, would like to announce something very important.

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Meet Meowseph Stalin, the cutest dictator ever. He's here to share with you his very simple and straightforward Five-Year Plan toward global, and internet, domination.

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YEAR ONE: Collectivization of Catriculture

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"Then we must let the humans know that they will still have responsibilities during, and after, our revolution. Important ones like cooking. They like to feel needed."

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"People will admire me because of how approachable I come across as, and I'm prepared for that attention. It'll help convince them to continue bestowing treats and gifts upon me (AKA 'catriculture')."

YEAR TWO: Spying On Other Puppet Governments

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"While it looks like I'm calm on the outside, I'm constantly in a state of vigilance."

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"You never know when your enemies, or even those other pesky proletaricats, will try to sneak up and get you!"

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"Always, always, keep your friends close and your enemies closer. Share meals with them. Play with them. Chill in a box with them. Let them think they're in control."

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"...overall cleanliness..."

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YEAR FOUR: Invasion of St. Peterspurr And Beyond

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