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Here's Meowseph Stalin's Adorable Five-Year Plan

Meowseph Stalin, a very stern yet cuddly cat, would like to announce something very important.

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Meet Meowseph Stalin, the cutest dictator ever. He's here to share with you his very simple and straightforward Five-Year Plan toward global, and internet, domination.

YEAR ONE: Collectivization of Catriculture

"Then we must let the humans know that they will still have responsibilities during, and after, our revolution. Important ones like cooking. They like to feel needed."

"People will admire me because of how approachable I come across as, and I'm prepared for that attention. It'll help convince them to continue bestowing treats and gifts upon me (AKA 'catriculture')."

YEAR TWO: Spying On Other Puppet Governments

"While it looks like I'm calm on the outside, I'm constantly in a state of vigilance."

"You never know when your enemies, or even those other pesky proletaricats, will try to sneak up and get you!"

"Always, always, keep your friends close and your enemies closer. Share meals with them. Play with them. Chill in a box with them. Let them think they're in control."

"...overall cleanliness..."

YEAR FOUR: Invasion of St. Peterspurr And Beyond


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