1. "No, it's totally cool. I wasn't trying to have a relaxing morning by myself or anything."
2. "Really fun time in the bathroom this morning. Didn't notice the lack of toilet paper until perhaps too late."
3. "I love it when people try to mock me for 'getting out there' and 'exercising.'"
4. "MY TALL FRIENDS ARE SO UNDERSTANDING AND OVERALL REALLY GREAT."
5. "Don't worry, people interrupting my shows is actually fine by me."
6. "GREAT! I get to hear your break-up story again. I didn't catch the full emotional pain from it the first three times."
7. "I love driving."
8. "This doesn't feel like mockery or anything."
9. "Having no clean dishes is really like a fun experiment, I guess."
10. "HAHA, GOOD JOKE, I TOTALLY DIDN'T FART THOUGH. THAT WASN'T ME. BUT HAHA, YOU MADE THE NOISE AND PRETENDED I DID FART. SO FUNNY."
11. "Oh, do I look tired? Weird, I was in bed by the time you got home. Something, or someone must've woken me up I guess..."
12. "Sitting in the middle of the backseat. Partyyyyyy."
13. "One peanut butter jar per duo? Good plan! Really solid plan. Love this plan."
14. "I look great. Thanks for the gift!"
15. "Haha, friendship. Am I right? Soooo great."
16. "Oh, weird how you didn't notice I was reading here. Sooo funny and bizarre, haha."
17. "Yeah, why would we use both beds?"
18. "Being a young dad totally hasn't harshed my coolness at all, nah. Not me. I'll be cool forever."
19. "No, no. I think it's cute that you fart in bed."
20. "I LOVE BEING IN PUBLIC WITH YOU, TOO."
21. "No, I'm not ignoring you. I promise."
