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Please Behold Your New Cat Overlord

His name is Atchoum, and he means business.


"I'm pleased to make your acquaintance."

"I couldn't help but notice you, what with my soul-piercing gaze and all."

"I promise I'll be a benevolent ruler, really."

"This giraffe is my trusted advisor. Don't pay him any attention, please. He's very shy."

"Around these parts, we take naps very seriously, therefore you will, too."

"But don't you dare wake me from slumber. It won't end well for you."

"Lots of time under my rule will be spent thinking deeply. About anything, really, but you need to look like you're very deep in thought very often."

"It'll be important to at least pretend that you play one instrument. You can pick which one."

"Contrary to popular belief, I'll be allowed to sit on any furniture I please."

"No, I don't do my own laundry, but I do like to sleep in it."

"If I have a bad hair day, NOT THAT I EVER DO, don't point it out because I'm sure I already know."

"This is my friend, Dog. Don't talk to him about Giraffe. He's still upset he didn't get a position on my council."

"This is my laptop. Mine. It's how I rule everything. And watch the occasional viral video."

"No one ever actually eats at the dining table anyways, so sometimes you'll find me here in repose."

"The rule is that I look amazing in any light. Remember that."

"I don't handle people who show up to meetings late, so make sure it doesn't happen, got it?"

"Don't mind me, I just like to keep an eye on the happenings in the kitchen. Intense, intense eyes."

"Sometimes, I'll hold formal dinners. You're expected to dress very nicely, but don't look better than I do."

"No, I don't do the dishes around here. Yes, I will inspect your work on them, however."

"I think this first meeting went very well! Carry on!"

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