1. “You need me to run errands with you? I’m stir-crazy, but I’m not stupid.”
2. “Guess it’s time for my third nap of the day. It isn’t even noon yet.”
6. “Oh, sorry, there’s like zero space on this couch due to cutbacks.”
11. “I’m sitting here for my own safety. It’s not near any cold-ass windows or doors.”
13. “Please let me onto your machine box. I need something, anything, to do.”
15. “I mostly don’t even care where I sit anymore, because I’ve already sat in every other seat imaginable.”
17. “Heehee, I’m not leaving this blanket cave except to get food. That’s final. Good luck getting me to poop outside.”
19. “You do realize this coat doesn’t make me want to go outside. It only makes it barely permissible by my standards.”
21. “Your cozy pants are the only good thing about you being home from work all day.”
22. “I hope we never have another snow day ever again. This one’s the last one forever, right? Good.”
- #Brexit fallout: Markets around the world fell again Monday, and analysts expect the U.K. to enter a "mild recession" by early 2017.
- The U.S. Supreme Court has ruled that abortion provider restrictions in Texas are unconstitutional.
- It's #TurnUpToVote week at BuzzFeed. Ready for November? You can register right here 🇺🇸