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If You Stress Eat, These Are Your Magical Powers

Not everyone can master the dark art of making giant bowls of pasta disappear.

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1. You can vanish an entire bag of movie popcorn.

Disney / Via

By the end of the opening credits, not a single kernel remains.

2. You can turn food into fire.

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Without even looking, you can magically turn your one-minute meals into flames.

3. You can eat in your sleep.

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After midnight and mid-REM cycle, you can still consume the leftovers you meant to save for lunch tomorrow.

4. You can pull snacks out of thin air.

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"And now, for my next trick..." [pulls cheeze doodle from two days ago out of hair]

5. You can escape from the most powerful restraints.

Comedy Central / Via

Diets, mealtimes, a lack of money.... no chains can stop you from breaking free to find food.

6. When you accidentally stress-eat your roommate's food...

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7. can purchase a duplicate to replace it faster than they can say "Where'd my cookies go?"

Paramount Pictures / Via

8. You can levitate your blood sugar.

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With a single work deadline, you can make your glucose defy gravity.

8. You can bring food back from the dead.

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You have the power to summon even the most freezer-burnt mystery meats back to life.

9. You can perform alchemy.

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Ice cream + crackers. Potato salad + pie. You can purify insane food combinations to create stress-feasts.

10. You can hypnotize your friends into eating with you.

Disney / Via

"You're getting hungry. Veeeeery hungry."

11. You can heal pain instantly.

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Time may heal all wounds eventually, but you can do it faster. With ice cream.

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