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    If You Stress Eat, These Are Your Magical Powers

    Not everyone can master the dark art of making giant bowls of pasta disappear.

    1. You can vanish an entire bag of movie popcorn.

    2. You can turn food into fire.

    3. You can eat in your sleep.

    4. You can pull snacks out of thin air.

    5. You can escape from the most powerful restraints.

    6. When you accidentally stress-eat your roommate's food...

    7. ...you can purchase a duplicate to replace it faster than they can say "Where'd my cookies go?"

    8. You can levitate your blood sugar.

    8. You can bring food back from the dead.

    9. You can perform alchemy.

    10. You can hypnotize your friends into eating with you.

    11. You can heal pain instantly.