Amazon Prime Day, the day when Amazon posts more deals than you could ever conceivably look through in a lifetime, is here!
We waded through the mountains of bargains for you and found some of the ✨best✨ deals in every category...but we also found some really weird shit. That's what this post is.
*Like everything else on Amazon, all Prime Day deals are limited-quantity and subject to rapid change.
Note: If you actually want to get these weird-ass deals (or any other ones) you have to be a Prime member, so if you aren't already, sign up for a free 30-day trial here.
1. 20% off jasmin mint-flavored toothpaste, so you can brush your teeth like the royalty you think you are.
2. Up to 40% off Sheep Placenta Cream. Nothing says pampering yourself like the placenta of a damn sheep.
3. Up to 45% off some "perky" jerky.
4. Up to 27% off a Yeti statue for your garden (and your nightmares).
5. 31% off 50 rubber ducks. Because who doesn't need 50 fucking rubber ducks?
6. 13% off bubblegum refrigerator magnets, just in case your home decor aesthetic is, um, gross shit.
7. Up to 45% off diaper rash cream — TBH it's a great offer if you have a baby at home, but makes the "WTF" list because it's called Butt Paste.
8. 20% off a hot dog toaster, since you're probably too cool to BBQ your weiners like the rest of society.
9. 20% off a photo album whose literal purpose is to hold your selfies, because it's 2017 and this is what our world has come to. UGH!
10. 20% off an oven mitt that might make your family question if you're going through an early mid-life crisis.
11. 20% off tattoo dish gloves to wear on days when you just don't feel badass enough while doing the dishes.
12. 20% off a kitty turntable, because what's a wild Friday night without your cat as the DJ?
13. 41% off a horn you can drink out of, for all those times quenching your thirst from a normal glass just won't cut it.
14. And get up to 33% off this on-the-go horn mug that definitely won't make anyone around you think you're insane.
15. 22% off a stuffed dog that "turns feisty with a squeeze," but honestly looks more pissed off than "feisty."
16. 20% off an extra-AF eyeshadow palette.
17. 20% off a hand wall hook that isn't at ALL creepy. 👀
18. Up to 37% off a soft grilled chicken toy, because there's nothing children want more than to play with a damn rotisserie chicken.
19. 20% off some toilet plunger drink marker thingies, because claiming your beverage with the thing you use to unclog your shit isn't weird at all.
20. Up to 33% off a very strange-looking but also really cool brush robot designed to help kiddos learn about robotics.
21. 5% off lollipops that are supposedly good for you and your kids' teeth — not sure how your dentist will feel about them, but people in the comments swear by them.
22. 16% off chewable coffee for those mornings when sipping coffee like the rest of us is too much work.
Want more? Check out the rest of our Prime Day coverage here.
Beauty deals! Tech deals! Deals for food lovers! Deals for parents! No matter what kind of deal you're looking for, we've got a post for you.