1. A T-shirt that highlights exactly what you're not looking for (drama) and what you are interested in (PIZZA).
2. A push pin holder you donut want to miss out on purchasing. More push pins = more donut sprinkles!
3. A snack delivery service because snacks are so important, and now you can literally open your front door to a delicious box of them.
4. A bandage that will help make your cuts and bruises feel a bit better — bacon can cure.
5. A sweet beach blanket to lie on while waiting for people selling ice cream to make their way to where you are.
6. A cookie teether/gum massager for the future foodie in your life.
7. A yummy float to keep you cool in the pool, minus the messiness of an ice cream sandwich.
8. And a salty float. NOT that kind of salty!
9. A T-shirt with a print that you may already be sobbing real tears over. It's a beautiful, beautiful piece of clothing.
10. A subscription service for those who love to cook. Hello Fresh provides the ingredients you need to make healthy meals, and you get a happy palette.
11. A scented pillow that if you don't buy, you'd be a real donut for.
12. A USB flash drive you'll want to make an office/school supply essential.
13. A pair of sunnies to protect your eyes, and make sure those around you understand where your priorities lie.
14. A hot dog toaster for making the perfect buns n' weiners, without having to fire up the grill.
15. A box of 40 delish snacks. It's meant to be a care package, but who said you can't send yourself a care package?!
16. A pajama set. Just because you go to sleep doesn't mean your love of food should.
17. A photo album made just for you. As a food lover we assume you're a fan of snapping pics of the things you eat, so print and store them in here.
18. A pencil sharpener and eraser set that will hold you over at school or work until you can get your hands on the real thing.
19. A bomber jacket to revolutionize the future of bomber jacket designs.
20. A monthly candy subscription box. Satisfy your sweet tooth, without ever having to step foot into a candy store.
21. A door stopper that may give you a slight panic attack first (because omg, there's perfectly good ice cream on the floor!), but it's fake, and it's food, so yeah, you need it!
22. A sweatshirt for when you're feeling kinda patriotic, but also kinda hungry.
23. A subscription box made just for Amazon Prime members, who can request a box of surprise sweets with just the push of a dash button.
24. A set of pasties — I have nothing else to say. These just speak for themselves.
Reviews have been edited for length and/or clarity.