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We hope you love the products we recommend! Just so you know, BuzzFeed may collect a share of sales from the links on this page. Oh, and FYI — prices are accurate and items in stock as of time of publication.
1. A paperweight that'll provide much-needed comic relief while holding down your important documents.
2. A T-shirt for showing off just how much of a fucking gem you really are.
3. A mug you can sip your caffeine out of, while flipping off the shitty people around you at the same time.
4. An oven mitt that might turn preparing dinner into a somewhat more enjoyable task.
5. A book to remind you to give less shits about the small things in life.
6. A moisturizing aloe vera that'll help you de-stress from all the crappy things going on at the moment, as the name suggests, it just ain't about bad vibes.
7. A calendar you should let assist you in getting your shit together in 2018. Hey, it supports your love of cursing.
8. A coloring book for those who want to unwind their mind by coloring in their favorite language.
9. A name plate that'll make any boss-ass bitch smile and nod their fuckin' head.
10. A Post-it note mural kit with the most perfect expression to decorate your walls with, but still clean enough to impress house guests with.
11. A tote bag for carrying all the random crap you need at the gym, the grocery store, or anywhere else you piss your life away.
12. A garden gnome so you can make this guy flip off annoying visitors.
13. A pair of tights that should be worn 24/7, if you're not already a tights person, then you are now.
14. A pack of balloons for making your next party, a fucking amazing party.
15. A pair of tweezers to help you pluck the pesky little annoying shithead hairs.
16. A pack of New Year's glasses so you can ring in 2018 the right way, by saying a big "fuck you" to the year of hell, 2017.
17. A print — it'll truly make your living space, your own. The hardest decision is picking which one to get. (Hint: buy both!)
18. A pair of socks that won't give a fuck about anything except keeping your feet warm.
19. A graphic to hang on your walls, give as a card, or just admire as it sits on a surface of your choice. The phrase is just a cursing fanatic's dream. 😍
20. A T-shirt you will feel compelled to wear all the time, plus it's especially purr-fect if you just fucking love cats.
21. A book filled with an extensive guide on the history of curse words and the proper way of using them for those who understand swearing is an art form.
22. A pack of candles to top off the most sweary person you know's birthday cake. Trust me, they make for a memorable birthday.
23. A canvas of Superman flipping the bird so you can truly ~save~ any room in your living space.
24. A wine glass that'll share in your love of alcohol and having a "fuck it" attitude towards every damn thing.
25. A cookbook for mixing comedy and cooking – two extremely wonderful things.
26. A T-shirt to make it clear where your priorities lie, and anyone who tries crossing you for it, will regret the shit out of it.
27. A pillowcase you should use to elegantly decorate your bed, couch, etc.
28. A collar for turning an ordinary sweater into a fucking great one.
29. A party game that'll be the life of every fuckin' party you ever attend.
30. A T-shirt to wear while exercising – exercising your first amendment right to curse as much as you fucking want, that is.
31. A pack of gift wrap for showing your sailor-mouthed friends how much you truly care.
Happy cursing, motherfuckers!!
The reviews for this post have been edited for length and clarity.