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Tell Us Your Pooping Habits And We'll Tell You A Poopy Product You Should Buy

Oh, crap.

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  1. Where do you prefer to poop?
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    At home, I hate public pooping, and avoid it at all costs.
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    Anywhere, as long as I have complete privacy in the bathroom.
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    Doesn't matter to me. If I gotta go, I gotta go.
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    Nature. I don't believe in toilets. A nice tree or a body of water is just fine.
  2. How many times a day do you poop?
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    Once
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    Twice
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    Three times
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    Four or more times
  3. What do you do while pooping?
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    Play with my iPhone, check social media, the usual.
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    Read a book or the newspaper, you know, the classic pooping activity.
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    I go to the bathroom? What else would I be doing?
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    LOL — you said "do when you poop."
  4. Do you spray the bathroom when you're done pooping?
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    Of course, it's the considerate thing to do.
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    Sometimes, it depends on where I am, and who I'm with.
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    Hell no, my haters deserve to smell my shit.
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    No need to spray when nature is your bathroom.
  5. What's your favorite part of the pooping experience?
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    Having a good excuse to just sit down and respond to my texts.
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    Wiping — it's like, really satisfying.
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    Flushing the toilet and watching all that crap go bye-bye.
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    Pooping itself, it's just so therapeutic, ya know?

 
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