1. A pack of 20 magic cleaning sponges for wiping away messy surfaces and getting them back to perfect condition.
2. A lens kit to use on your phone! Yep, no need to own a fancy schmancy, super expensive camera just to take grade A photography.
3. A pair of Frenchie socks that'll make your feet warm, but might make your very own Frenchie pupper confused.
4. A cream for smoothing your skin and healing things like sun spots and scars.
5. A six-pack of cat figurines to light up your life and living space with their abundance of cuteness. Ugh!
6. A color block top that'll become your new fave – wear it when you're headed to the gym, going to work, hanging out with friends, just chilling at home – the options are endless.
7. A book of love poems for igniting your inner romantic (and maybe slightly cheesy side).
8. A mini griddle to whip up single-serving portions of your favorite noms in what will feel like no time at all.
9. A pair of unicorn headphones that'll truly turn your music listening experience into a ~magical~ one.
10. A coil lighter for safe use on camping trips so you can toast those marshmallows and not your fingers.
11. A pack of 60 hydrogel eye patches to reduce the visibility of puffy eyes, because people asking how much sleep you got the night before isn't exactly flattering.
12. A pair of ankle booties that'll go great with all your outfits and can be worn casually as an everyday look or worn with something dressier when you wanna still be comfy.
13. An accessible book about astrophysics.
14. A bug-a-salt to quickly and easily get rid of pestering little creatures.
15. A Nessie bookmark that'll make saving your place in your current read a breeze – an adorable breeze.
16. A pair of computer screen glasses for protecting your precious eyeballs from the dangers of staring at blue lights all day.
17. A two-pack of shampoo to restore richness to brown hair and give it more life.
18. A set of two pairs of scissors that'll make cutting paper for school-related projects, work assignments, or personal use crisp and clean.
19. A pair of Soffe shorts for stocking up on in every color because these should be a staple in your wardrobe.
20. A phone sanitizer to get rid of, yes, the very MANY germies crawling around on your beloved phone.
21. A microfiber bath mat that'll hopefully help you feel a little less sad about the fact you just came out of a fucking awesome shower and now have to get ready for a day in the real world.
22. A cosmetic organizer for storing your makeup, jewelry, even school supplies – it's pretty and useful. What more could you ask for?
23. A book to truly teach you the SCIENCE of cooking (it's gonna transform you into one hell of a chef).
24. A pair of touchscreen gloves that'll prevent your fingers from becoming icicles while still allowing you to use your phone.
25. A dishwasher magnet for indicating if the machine is filled with dirty or clean dishes, because shit can get confusing.
26. A pack of four Harry Potter quotes and sayings to frame and hang on your walls for some spell-binding encouragement.
27. A pair of paw socks that'll allow you to channel your inner animal — you're brushing up on looking down at your feet, now you gotta work on your RAWR!
28. A box of six anus chocolates for you fucking weirdos who can't just enjoy some normal-ass chocolate. Haha get it, "normal-ass," because anuses? Ok, bye.
Funny, our blood type is chocolate anus.
The reviews for this post have been edited for length and clarity.