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25 Incredibly Honest Reasons People Are Waiting To Have Sex

Spoiler: It's not always for religious reasons.

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We recently asked members of the BuzzFeed Community to tell us why they waited to have sex, or why they're still waiting now. Here's what they said:

1. "I want to invest in myself before sharing it with someone else."

"I am 26 years old, I have never had sex and I am still waiting. Currently, choosing to not have sex decreases a lot of stress in my life such as paying for birth control, condoms, or morning after pills. I can just invest in myself and live my life according to my rules before sharing it with someone else."

—Tryphena Poulson, Facebook

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2. "I don't want to have sex with someone who I may never see again in my lifetime." / Via Instagram: @r_tillery

"I am 27 and I am waiting for the right person. I have not found the right guy, because most guys are ready to sleep with me the second they meet me. I don't want to have sex with someone who I may never see again in my lifetime and would never know if the sex ever meant anything to him. I want to get to know him before I can make that commitment."

—Samantha Secular, Facebook

3. "I can barely manage five minutes of small talk."

Anna Borges / Via

"I am an introvert with mild social anxiety and severe body image issues — I can barely manage five minutes of small talk, and still don't fully believe I'm not being teased when people compliment me.

So between me struggling to get out of my own head and me trying to love what I see in the mirror as much as I love the the immensely and beautifully varied people that I see everyday, getting laid has not seemed like possibility or priority."

—Briana Hicks, Facebook

4. "I believe sex is a gift from God for married couples."


"[And] It just makes more sense to me to wait. Much less drama and anxiety and pain.

I want my first time to be special and with someone who has committed to me for the rest of my life and I to him. To me, sex is supposed to be special, to be shared with one person, to be bonded physically and spiritually. And I think the world has cheapened sex."

—Alison Carter, Facebook

6. "My future husband will be the only one to experience the vulnerability and intimacy of sex with me."


"I believe God created sex to be an amazing thing inside the context of marriage. And even beyond that I think of saving myself as a gift that I am keeping for my future husband. He will be the only one to experience that state of vulnerability and intimacy with me."

—Melissa Anne Kohler, Facebook


7. "There weren't any guys around that I could stand long enough to get naked."

Bravo / Via

"To clarify, I briefly remedied the issue. I am now looking for a life partner, rather than some random person who doesn't irritate me as much as everyone else."

—Auna Smith, Facebook

8. "We wanted to establish trust."

Cartoon Network / Via

"My husband and I waited until we were married. He was a virgin, I was not. We also agreed that we wanted to wait because it was so important for both of us to have that trust established before being intimate.

On our wedding night, I didn't have to worry about whether or not he was lying to me or using me or if he was going to hurt me or if I'd wake up in the morning and regret everything. I knew his motive was purely love, and that I was safe."

—Tinsley Marie Mauric, Facebook

9. "I was waiting because of my faith; now I'm waiting for an emotional connection."

"As a teen and during college, my faith and my upbringing were the main reasons. Sex was for marriage, period. I'm still waiting, but not because of it being 'evil' or dirty. For me, "I *need* an emotional connection to someone, a deep trust, before sex would be more of a potential joy/pleasure/expression of love than it would a big, anxiety-producing event."

—Jonathan Hamrick, Facebook

10. "I was too timid to explore deeper relationships."

Phazed / Via

"I went to a boarding school until I was 16, where any and every form of physical intimacy was forbidden. By that time I'd barely even kissed a girl, and I was too timid to explore deeper relationships with the people around me. Six years on, and it's not getting any easier."

—Phelan Cusack, Facebook

11. "I waited until I liked myself enough to be with someone who respected me." / Via Instagram: @buzzfeedweddings

"I waited until I had my self in order, could stand up for myself, could be clear about what I wanted and didn't want, and until I liked myself enough to be with someone who respected me."

—Jessica Salas, Facebook


14. "I waited until I felt completely sure that I wanted it. " / Via Instagram: @buzzfeedweddings

"This feeling required the right partner, a certain amount of time in a loving and trusting relationship, and a lot of experience beforehand (for months), building up to the actual sex. The right person came along...and I'm glad I waited for him! We're no longer together, but it was a serious, loving, caring relationship and I'll never regret our times together."


15. "I waited until I found the person I was most comfortable with, who just happened to be my husband." / Via Instagram: @buzzfeedweddings

"That man just happened to be my husband, even though we had sex well before we got married. I was 22 when I lost my virginity to him. I have no regrets about how old I was or the fact that I have only slept with him."


16. "I’m leaning more towards me being asexual."

"I'm 32 and it hasn't happened yet. Not having sex because other people were not attracted to me made so much sense to me that it never occurred to me that I wasn't attracted to anyone either, and ultimately THAT was what was scuppering any romantic or sexual involvement in my life. So, now I'm leaning more towards me being asexual or at the very least, demisexual."


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17. "Have you heard of how many people have STIs?"

Alice Mongkongllite / Via

"I'm still waiting (18). To me, it is very close and personal and nobody has ever meant that much to me. Yet. And it's a wee bit scary. Have you heard of how many people have STIs?"


18. "Two of my older siblings became parents when they were still teens: BEST BIRTH CONTROL EVER!!!" / Via Instagram: @gina_bean717

"I was the fourth child in line. Two of my older siblings became parents when they were still teens (not together!!!) BEST BIRTH CONTROL EVER!!! I waited until I was contraceptively responsible and was on the pill before I ever had intercourse. Of course, anything that couldn't make me pregnant was eagerly pursued beforehand…"


19. "I like knowing that my husband will be the only one who will ever become that close to me."

Medioimages / Getty Images

"I know I'm going to get married, and I want my husband to know that I knew he was in my future and that no man I dated can beat the man I marry. Even if he doesn't care whether I waited for him or not, I like knowing he will be the only one that has ever, and will ever, become that close to me."


21. "My father told me that high school boys don't know what they're doing."

"In middle school my father's version of 'the talk' was, When you have sex, you want it to be good. And high school boys just don't know what they're doing so please, just wait until after high school.' I lost it to my boyfriend in the summer going into my sophomore year of college."



22. "I was a gay mormon and waited for religious reasons/lack of sexual interest in the girls I was dating."

"Then I left the church, came out, and waited for 'the right guy.' I ended up finally having sex a few weeks after my birthday. The guy was incredibly sweet and I'm still glad it happened."


24. "I waited because as a victim of a sexual predator, intimacy means so much more to me."

"I wanted to make sure that the first time I had sex it was on my terms, with someone I I trusted absolutely and who I knew loved me."


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Responses have been edited for length and clarity.


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