1. You believe that any problem can be solved with a run.
Bad day? Fuck it, I'm going running. Case of the sads? Fuck it, I'm going running. Super behind on a deadline? Fuck it, I'm going running. Stuck in a well? Fuck it, I'm going running.
2. You're known to plan your runs around your bodily functions.
3. Your sneakers might be hideous AF, but whatever, they feel like actual clouds.
4. But, OK, you do have some standards.
5. Same deal with your clothes. Good for running > acceptable to be seen wearing in public.
6. Speaking of clothes, you've actually never smelled worse in your life.
7. Your post-run meal is 50% of the reason you get out of bed each morning.
8. Slash what gets you through the entire thing.
9. After a super-long run, there's a part of you that considers spending the whole rest of the day eating.
10. Rest days are an opportunity to wish you were running and openly glare at every runner who crosses your path.
11. You pretend to hate the treadmill but secretly are pretty OK with it.
"Crushing boredom and tedium are actually fine if it means I get to run."
"Crushing boredom and tedium are actually fine if it means I get to run."
"Crushing boredom and tedium are actually fine if it means I get to run."
12. You secretly get psyched AF for new energy gel flavors.
13. No matter how injured you are, you don't think you need a day off.
14. You look forward to bad weather so you can say you ran through it.
15. You've done a total 180 on how cool fanny packs are.
16. Ditto attaching stuff to a belt.
17. At the first sign that your favorite running shoe might be discontinued you buy as many pairs as you can find.
18. And no matter what you look like running, you feel like an actual majestic fucking human.
