A headboard on your bed?A bed frame (not a mattress on the floor)?More than one set of sheets?More than one towel?More than one clean towel?A shower curtain liner?A shower curtain, at all?Drinking receptacles that aren't mugs?A vacuum?That you've ever actually used?And emptied out afterward?An actual laundry hamper, not a suitcase or a duffel bag?A plant you've managed to keep alive?For longer than a week?A month?A YEAR?!Curtains, not a plastic bag or a sheet?A place to put your knives that doesn't put your fingers at risk, aka not a drawer?A refrigerator that is not covered in unidentifiable sticky shit?A refrigerator that is full of more than just condiments?A refrigerator that contains actual ingredients (leftovers don't count)?Liquor that was not cheap AF?Wine that is not in a box?A wine opener that you know how to use?Actual wine glasses that don't have "BAD BITCH" plastered on with puffy paint?A desk that is not covered in unpaid bills and junk mail?Carpet that is not stained to shit?Lamps that were not also in your dorm room?Artwork that is not a free poster taped to your wall?SOAP.BOOKS.TOILET PAPER.Any furniture that is not from Ikea?Shoes that still look like their original color?Sunglasses that weren’t free?T-shirts that weren’t free?Underwear you’re not ashamed for people to see?A phone that isn’t cracked?An actual phone case?Pasta in your pantry that does not also come with powdered cheese?A VEGETABLE.Seasonally appropriate clothes?Actual tissues, not just toilet paper?A comb that wasn't free?An actual bank account?A savings account with more than $0?
How Adulty Are You?
You really need to get your shit together. This wombat is better at doing laundry than you are. Go take out your trash and stop washing your dishes in the shower.
At least you are making an effort at living a *grown up* lifestyle. You probably even wear deodorant every day.
CONGRATS! You are not a total garbage child anymore! You've really made it now.