Divorce Lawyers Shared Their Most Memorable Cases And Literally All Of Them Had Me Shook
"One of our clients thought his wife was having an affair. She would actually just go driving around for hours playing Pokémon Go."
There are many professions out there that seem super tedious, but you're bound to hear something wild to keep you going throughout the day, and being a divorce lawyer fits right into that category.
So here are just 23 of the most memorable and wildest cases divorce lawyers have seen.
1. “We once had a case where the husband and wife decided to start having a threesome with their friend. Then they both fell in love with her and started sleeping with her separately behind each other’s backs."
2. "The husband and wife both played some sort of online role-playing game, sort of like The Sims but a little more elaborate and adult. The wife got heavily involved with the game, like 10 hours a day, and wouldn't reduce her playing time no matter what her husband said. What tipped things over the edge, however, was that he set up a fake profile and went online to stalk her in the game and later found her avatar having sex with some random guy's avatar."
"Nothing ever happened in real life, but that was enough for the guy to initiate a fairly acrimonious divorce."
3. "My mom is a family law lawyer, and she told me that a man divorced his wife after she broke her jaw in a car accident because she could no longer give head."
4. "One client filed for divorce because he owed his bookie $70,000. He didn't want to leave his wife, but he figured he would get half the house in the divorce, which was worth $700,000, which would help pay his debts.”
"He had already blown through their life savings gambling."
5. "I was involved in a case where a lady was pursuing a case for 'unreasonable behavior.' Her then-husband would stand at the foot of the bed, drop his pants, then bend over to step out of them, sit on the bed, then slide up when going to bed. She had noticed that after a couple of days, brown streaks would appear."
6. "A couple got divorced over a cat. The wife called the cat Snowball because of its white fur, and she only wanted it to eat wet cat food or chicken breast. The husband called the cat Lily because of the white fur and believed it should only eat dry food. They argued for a year over custody of the cat and did not give a shit about their human kids."
7. "I had a client whose soon-to-be-ex-husband used her email address and phone number to sign up for every bank, loan, religious, mental illness, and pornography site he could think of. She was bombarded by people contacting her about her interest in the product/services. He even put out ads for sex partners on Craigslist with her information. The kicker is that she actually went out with a guy who contacted her!"
8. "I had a husband and wife go toe to toe over an ashtray they got in Vegas. They spent nearly $5,000 for me and another attorney to duke it out in court over the silly thing. Prior to the proceeding, I explained what the cost would be to argue over something silly like this, and that he could give me $2,500 and I would fly to Vegas for the weekend and get him an identical ashtray instead. He said he didn't care about the costs because he intended to smash it on the courthouse steps in front of her if we won."
"We won, and he followed through with the smashing. He laughed and said the look on her face was worth much more than $2,500. People get nutty in divorce proceedings!"
9. "I worked for a law firm while in college, and we had a client who had just come home from a two-week vacation with his wife only to be served with divorce papers and a temporary restraining order as soon as they pulled in the driveway."
10. "I once represented a husband divorcing his wife of 35+ years. At mediation, they divided up about a half-million in assets within 30 minutes. They spent 2.5 hours fighting over two hurricane glasses from Pat O'Brien's and a pitchfork."
"The wife told the mediator that she really wanted that pitchfork because it was a gift from her daddy. The husband stated that they bought it at Home Depot two years ago. They settled at mediation after spending over $1,000 in attorney fees combined for the glasses and pitchfork. They remarried three months later."
11. "My mom works in divorce court. For one case, a voicemail was played in court as evidence. The wife was cheating on her husband, and the voicemail is from the husband to the wife. The voicemail says, 'Hey! I know you're there! The only reason you can't answer is because I know you can't speak with that guy's dick in your mouth!'"
12. "My client's husband cheated on her with another woman, and he took some photos of the...penetration. She found the pictures on the husband's computer, but his face was not in any of them. So during a deposition, I had to ask him if the penis in the photos belonged to him, and he said he wasn't sure."
13. "My father did divorce law for many years. One time, we were in Virginia Beach for a tournament, and I was with a friend of mine and his father. My dad got a call from a forensic accountant he hired to track down some accounts his client knew her husband stashed money in. He was asked to pull over and put him on speaker because he would not believe what he was about to tell him. The accountant traced all of his money to three bank accounts totaling over $300 million in another country."
"My father's client made out with two of the three accounts, and they walked away silently. He was paid in full, given a small bonus, and has never heard from her since."
14. "I had one client who looked through her husband's phone and found out he was hiring male escorts while he was on business trips."
15. "One of our clients thought his wife was having an affair. She would actually just go driving around for hours of the night playing Pokémon Go."
16. "On the day of a divorce trial involving adultery grounds, the opposing counsel produces photos of my client (the husband) wearing lingerie and a long brown wig. In the photo, he's blowing another dude."
"I successfully exclude this from evidence on the grounds of relevance because the wife was the photographer."
17. "I had a case where the husband found some incriminating texts on his wife's phone that she was cheating on him with some guy, and he also had the impression that his sister-in-law was in on it. He and his brother end up hiring a private investigator to tail them both and get the truth. They essentially confirm that both women are seeing other people. The sister-in-law admitted full guilt of sleeping with another man, and they attempted to reconcile. Still, his brother eventually filed for divorce. The wife admitted that she was looking to sleep with the guy, but they only 'met for some kisses,' and she 'touched his penis a little bit' in hoping that would prove that she was still faithful since she couldn't go through with it."
18. "At my last firm, a couple did their will with our firm. They were married 40 years total, divorced, and remarried once. The husband wanted us to put in his will that his kids get his entire estate but did not want us to tell his wife. He wanted to make a secret will and a fake will. The phony will would be signed with her present, and then it would be shredded. He would later come in to sign the 'real will.' He copied his wife on the email that had all of this information disclosed in it."
19. "A 46-year marriage ended because his old high school girlfriend was single again. I later learned that the guy married the old girlfriend the same day his divorce was finalized."
20. "It took the couple two hours to decide who would get the groceries left in the fridge. They had an estimated value of about $40. Two hours of my time, the opposing counsel time, and the mediator's time added up to about $1,000."
"It all came down to a Costco/Sam's Club–sized jar of peanut butter. Who keeps peanut butter in the fridge anyway?!"