back to top

13 WTF Fusion Dishes That Actually Exist But Really, Really Shouldn't

Gather around, kids.

Posted on

1. So na, I have a story to tell.

2. Back in 2014, I was diagnosed with tuberculosis – one of those diseases that I genuinely thought Amitabh Bachchan had single-handedly cured in the '90s like polio.

I live in a bubble, it's true.
imgur.com

I live in a bubble, it's true.

3. It was horrible. My stomach swelled up to thrice its size and, for the initial few days, the docs couldn't even say for sure that it was TB in the first place.

Like, literally, I got tested for every other disease in existence and then they went, "Well, it's not any of those so it must be TB." HOW IS THAT A MEDICALLY ACCEPTED PROCEDURE?!
imgur.com

Like, literally, I got tested for every other disease in existence and then they went, "Well, it's not any of those so it must be TB." HOW IS THAT A MEDICALLY ACCEPTED PROCEDURE?!

4. I couldn't eat anything because it felt like I would burst. The nurses were vacuuming *litres* of harmful fluids out of my abdomen every day.

5. I lost close to 15 kilos in two weeks. And for the next three months, I was practically on bed rest.

6. I was made to live on a carefully regimented program of liquids, injections, and around 20 different pills a day.

7. The meds made my pee turn orange. I was basically a Mirinda dispenser for the next year.

8. But everything up to that point was still bearable. It was the part where khichdi became the one and only thing I could eat that things got real.

9. Now I'm not a foodie, but that shit was hard, man! I forgot what flavours tasted like. I craaaaaaved for pizza. I *needed* biryani in my stomach.

10. There were times when I wasn't sure if I could go another day without some masala in my food. I lost another five kilos by the time I was allowed to socialise outside my house.

11. Those were some tough times, folks. I came out of it with a renewed appreciation for food and the wonders of getting to eat things you like. Those few months are something I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy.

12. My point being that, even in that dark phase of my life – *even* when my taste buds basically atrophied into nothingness – I wouldn't have had any of the dishes listed in this post.

13. #StopRuiningFood2k17