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70 Thoughts Every Californian Has During An Earthquake

Is this the big one?

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1. OMG

2. OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG

3. WHAT IS HAPPENING?

4. EARTHQUAKE!?!?!!!

5. I'M GOING TO DIE.

6. OKAY CALM DOWN

7. What do I do?

8. Get under the table?

9. Triangle of Life?

10. No, that's not real.

11. Get in a door frame?

12. Okay, I'm in a door frame.

13. How is this door frame going to save me?

14. I'm going to die in this door frame.

15. Is this the big one?

16. Why is it still shaking?

17. THINGS ARE FALLING

18. OH NO MY TV IT'S NOT BOLTED TO THE WALL

19. It was time for a new one anyway.

20. Should I run outside?

21. No, that's when the building will collapse on me.

22. Can I leap from this door frame and get under the table before --

23. AHHH FALLING BOOK SHELF

24. OH NO THE POWER JUST WENT OUT

25. Where are my flashlights?

26. I'll never make it to them alive.

27. Stop shaking please.

28. Lord Jesus Mother of Christ Moses Abraham Lincoln Joseph Mary

29. DEAR GOD LET IT END

30. Why is it still shaking?

31. OH NO WHAT WAS THAT NOISE

32. NOT MY WINE

33. What a mess!

34. Well, Grandma just fell off the wall.

35. Gotta get a new frame for Grandma.

36. Please stop shaking. PLEASE.

37. It's at least above 5.0.

38. Or it must be right under my house.

39. Am I still alive?

40. This has been going on for AT LEAST 2 minutes now.

41. Maybe I'll see what everyone is saying on Twitter.

42. I need to tweet about this earthquake.

43. @world OMG EARTHQUAKE!!!

44. Time to check USGS.

45. Nothing up yet. REFRESH.

46. This IS the big one, isn't it?

47. We're probably sinking into the ocean right now.

48. OMG is there going to be a tsunami?

49. Should I get to higher ground?

50. I hope my canned food is still good.

51. Do I have any bottled water?

52. I should have made an earthquake survival kit.

53. What if they red tag my home? Where will I go?

54. I'm getting dizzy.

55. Gas leak?

56. Okay, it's a slow rolling motion now.

57. I think I can emerge from this door frame.

58. Must watch out for glass from the broken wine bottle.

59. @world IS EVERYONE OKAY?

60. Time to check USGS again.

61. What? Just a 4.1? That can't be right.

62. USGS is wrong. This was TOTALLY the big one.

63. Ugh, this mess.

64. I'm calling a Merry Maid tomorrow.

65. OMG AN AFTERSHOCK

66. BODY GET UNDER DESK NOW

67. Why is it still shaking?

68. Why is it still shaking?

69. ANOTHER ONE? Seriously.

70. Over it.

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