Last month, Oiselle CEO Sally Bergesen tweeted an example of body-shaming she experienced from her father when she 12, using the hashtag #TheySaid. Turns out, people face body-shaming from just about everyone.
"Keep eating like that and you're going to be a butterball." My Dad when I was 12. Pls RT and share a body shaming comment. #TheySaid
Mothers:
"Boys don't want fat girls" " you need to lower your standards, because you will be lucky if a boy will even like you" My mom. #theysaid
Brothers:
"You'd be so popular if you just stop eating." -My brother, when I was 13 #TheySaid
Sisters:
#TheySaid you could stand to lose a few pounds. My sister to me when I was 16 and had just begun binging and purging.
Aunts:
My aunt, walks up, slaps my thighs "how's it going, thunder thighs?" (I was about 13/14) #TheySaid
Uncles:
Grandpa-"You're beautiful, you should be a model!" Uncle looking directly at me-"she can't be a model! She's too fat!" I was 13 #theysaid
Cousins:
"At your height and with your foot size no boy will ever want to date you" -My 20 y/o cousin when I was 12.… https://t.co/nuZNokAAi0
Grandfathers:
"I'll pay you $1 if you lose five pounds"- my grandpa "You wouldn't look so bad if you really tried to get that weight off" #Theysaid
Grandmothers:
"Don't you look fat today? It's a disgrace" said my Nan in front of my family as I was about to eat. I didn't eat. #theysaid
Classmates:
"Werewolf" & "She'll need a lawnmower for those sideburns" - kids at school #Theysaid
Multiple relatives:
#TheySaid "You should stop eating", "Being slim is the best body type", "no one likes fat girls" my mom and my grandma say this a lot 💔
Adults:
#TheySaid "Suck in that gut!" I was three.
Best friends:
Me at around 10 years old- I'm not cold My 'best friend'- that's because not all of us have a layer of blubber Me anorexic at 14 #theysaid
Schoolmates:
A strange kid I didn't know from my school followed me around making pig noises after school closed. I was 8 yrs old. #TheySaid
Coaches:
"Look at that fat body! What a waste of a pretty face!" My PE coach to 8yo me in front of the class. Thanks Coach Robinson! #theysaid
Coworkers:
"Did you cut the diet? It WAS working" -a male coworker #TheySaid
Bosses:
'Is that pizza such a good idea for you?' Ex boss, 10 years ago. #TheySaid https://t.co/Vlgc9alynx
Strangers:
'Muscles on a woman aren't attractive. You shouldn't look like you can kick my ass' - a man in the grocery store, l… https://t.co/NuH2f5ZTkq
#TheySaid what to not to wear:
#TheySaid don't wear a bikini because you're fat. lol. i think i look like a dayum snack.
And what not to do:
"U don't have the right body type 4 bouldering" #theysaid #shereplied
Bergesen told BuzzFeed she decided to do this hashtag because so many women have experienced body-shaming. "Most women I know, myself included, have been body-shamed. And typically, we carry that shame silently. Maybe because we want to will it away, not accept that it affects us, or are embarrassed"
Moving forward, parents can prepare their kids. "Positivity is paramount. Encouraging healthy eating and exercise is fantastic, and teaching skills that last a lifetime. As parents, leading by example. Encouraging kids with 'you look so strong!' Or 'that was really brave!' And finally, a huge heads-up to parents. Please, please talk with your kids about how they will encounter people who say these things."
And although the #TheySaid tweets are sad to read, there is strength in solidarity. 💪
#TheySaid now flooding my feed. TBH, it's deeply saddening and cathartic. Thank you for sharing. Strength in solidarity. We're not alone. 👊