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Trans People Are Sharing Things They Wish People Knew About Being Trans

"I will be miserable if I cannot be myself."

On Wednesday, Reddit user u/YoMyThrowAcct asked trans people, "What are some things you wish the general public knew/understood about being transgender?"

People who are trans responded with some really insightful, invaluable tidbits of information. Here's what they said:

1. "That I'm not the devil for wearing a suit to prom. Literally, this past weekend was prom, so I wore a suit (trans man still in the closet) and most of the teachers hated it. I live in a very conservative community, and someone who is AFAB wearing anything other than a dress to prom is completely unheard of. I literally just wanted to feel comfortable for once, and then my uncle said that people were talking about my decision, and I was like, why it doesn't matter THAT much. On a positive note, I looked in the mirror that night and finally saw myself, so yay!"


2. "That being called 'brave' for being myself feels pretty shitty. It makes me feel like I'm seen as just wearing a costume, or some bad outfit. I'd really rather feel safe than brave any day of the week."


3. "How hard it is to get documents. I moved from one state to another. I've spent the last two years trying to get my birth certificate updated."


4. "That I don’t want to cause problems. I don’t want to be any different than anyone else. I’m not trying to offend or be controversial or be political or anything like that. I wish people — even though not everyone understands — trusted that I am who I am, and I feel how I feel. I will be miserable if I cannot be myself. I just want to be normal in my identity and not be a conversation point. Trust us, we are no different than anyone else, we just want to be accepted and loved and seen for who we really are."


5. "We're not obsessed with a gender divide debate each time the topic comes up. We all have different experiences but most of us are simply tired of not being respected for literally being ourselves. The question for most of us isn't 'Can I compete in a national sports team?' but really 'Will I be able to live with a body I like?' and such."


6. "This shit isn't a choice. I've prayed, pretended, and hurt myself to try to be different but this is just the way I am."


7. "Being trans can be really difficult. People don't seem to get that. You hear people say it's people looking for attention, and it's one of those things that just doesn't make sense. Yes, I went through years of hormone therapy, lost my job, lost half my family, and lost my best friend because I wanted attention."


8. "The common narrative of 'knowing since you were a kid' is really overrepresented. Many of us, myself included, discovered it later. I discovered I was trans a few years after puberty started. Many people don't find out for well beyond that. You don't have to know you were trans as a child to be trans."


9. "We just want to live our lives without every little aspect becoming a federal case or a gender studies class. Trans people set our alarms to get up for work, we shower, we brush our teeth, we worry about how much gas is in the car and wonder what to have for dinner later."


10. "Whenever some idiot brings up Caitlyn as some sorta 'GOTCHA!' I imagine them bringing up Rudy Giuliani as a reason cis people shouldn't be allowed to use their preferred bathroom and pronouns."


11. "That saying 'YAS, queen' and 'You look prettier than me and I’m a normal woman!' aren't the positives you think. They make me feel like some bizarre monster."


12. "Hormones are not amphetamines. You don't get addicted to them. They don't give you a 'hit' of gendered energy. It's not a high. It's a slow process, and it takes weeks to start feeling it, let alone seeing results."


13. "How common it is for us to be fetishized. The guy calling me a derogatory name is probably the same guy sexually harassing me at Comic Con."


14. "Not every trans person is going to look cis. Trans people can be androgynous, nonbinary, or stealth, and don't have to look or be a type of way to be trans. Not every trans person takes hormones! Not every trans person wants surgery!"


15. "That just because I'm the first trans person you met, doesn't mean I'm your personal educator. The constant explaining can be draining or triggering for some."


There you have it. Trans BuzzFeed readers, did they miss anything? If you feel comfortable, let me know in the comments!