Here are some funny tweets from this weekend for anyone who might need a laugh, a distraction, or just something light to read. Enjoy and stay safe.
Be sure to follow these Twitter users for an A+ timeline.
1.
Me at the bar asking for water
2.
people who refuse to download TikTok be thinking they got a PhD in maturity
3.
My dog has no idea that I pay an extra $50 a month in rent for her to live here and it makes me sick
4.
i’m obsessed w going to someone’s house and asking them if they need me to pick anything up on the way. pure good boy energy
5.
Facebook is like the mall: it was a cool place to hang out when we were teenagers but now it’s a decaying monument to the past; I return there sporadically to shop & see elderly people getting into fights
6.
this car in front of my grandparents house? 😭
7.
the iPhone weather app is just freestyling at this point 💀
8.
Jennifer Coolidge that one time
9.
On my way to retiring at 30 🙏🏾 No money saved I’m just not working after that x
10.
i like calling a man my "former lover" because then it sounds like it happened in france and not in the bonefish grill parking lot
11.
i once broke up with someone because they invited me for pasta and it was zucchini “zoodles”
12.
im so bored I’m about to unblock my ex and start an argument
13.
my mom bought a scratch off and didn’t win so I joked about her losing money and she said: “just like your little crypto” and now I’m finna fight her in the garage bc why would you say that?? lmao
14.
reject spotify. embrace tradition.
15.
He does this when it snows
16.
dartmouth? yeah that sounds like a great school... if you like eating darts
